And so it has come to pass
07.09.07, 4:53 pm

Doomsday has arrived. My dad rang me at the weekend, out of the blue and at James�s, which is suspicious in itself, as if he can�t find me at home he usually just resorts to either texting, �Can�t raise you. Why are you never at home? Dad.� or emailing me from work the next day. Anyway, he rang, and without even attempting small talk announced, �We�ve got a date for the wedding! Got a pen, got a pen? 19th October. It�s a Friday.�

Balls balls balls. I had, by now, assumed that the wedding wouldn�t be until next spring, but apparently not. The acquisition of an evil stepmother and two stepsiblings is occurring much earlier than previously planned. My dad then said, �I hope James is still coming, yes? There�s just so much to do� it�d be really great if you could come up the night before.� This translates as us schlepping up there, sleeping on the living room floor (probably with my sister, for extra cosiness), and then skivvying about for the pair of them all Friday.

However, the most pressing problem is currently what I should wear. The statement from my dad was, �Nothing too special� just smart-casual.� There�s no way in hell that my grandmother is going to be adhering to that particular rule, and if I do adhere to it, will give me the once over upon her arrival and then start a lecture along the following lines:

�Is that what you�re wearing? Holly, I do think you should make more of an effort; this is your dad�s wedding. It doesn�t matter if he said not to - you can�t not dress up for a wedding. It�s just not done, love. You should�ve gone to John Lewis � they�ve got lots of lovely things in at the moment. No, it�s not just for old people� anyway, wedding outfits don�t have ages on them. You�re going to be right up at the front and everyone�s going to be looking at you.�

She will then flow seamlessly into a vein that will make me itch with awkwardness and just want to run away, and it will go something like this:

�It�s so good that your dad�s found someone though, isn�t it? After everything that�s happened, and all the bad things, it�s so nice that he�s managed to put that behind him. Because we all have to grieve, Holly, and things were awful for so long, but it�s good that he�s through that. We all need to go through that.�

ARGH PLEASE STOP TALKING. I get the feeling I�m going to actually enjoy the day, in a car crash kind of way. Plus I get to square my gran off against Amanda�s mother, who is the original Hell Witch and loathed by everyone (including Amanda).

Anyway, in other news Becky was down for a couple of days, and we met up with Em and generally had an ace time. I felt a bit like a student again, especially as we sat and watched Deal Or No Deal after I got home from work, although Becky finally understands what all the boxes mean. Lisa still hates me (probably), Lise is coming to see me soon and Emma too hopefully. Friends are a good thing. I think Becky and me are going to tootle up to Newcastle soon to see Mel, which�ll be a fun four-hour journey on the Mega Bus of Doom.

So, the Rugby World Cup is starting today, which is apparently going to be the entirety of me and the boy�s activities for the next month. He wants to watch all the boring matches that involve teams he doesn�t care about, and is bound to be incredibly rude about England. And I do like rugby, and can watch a match, but NOT THAT MANY PLEASE. I suspect I shall be doing a lot of reading this weekend, as well as all the cooking and other slave tasks.

He is very sweet though. I�ve been a hormonal nightmare for the last ten days, and he told me that he was cooking me a nice meal last night to cheer me up as I�d been fed up for so long. Except yesterday I had one of the worst headaches known to men, coupled with nausea, and struggled over to his house at seven o�clock only to tell him that I couldn�t risk eating any of his lovely tea. He�d marinaded chicken and everything, and bought strawberries. I was ridiculously hormonal, and he was so nice about it that I almost burst into tears. The good thing about all this is that I am not with child, which I was quite worried about for reasons that I won�t bother going into due to bleurgh reasons, which is always excellent news.

It's my mum's birthday today, and I have a lit a candle to commemorate it, as I always do. Oh, and I�m starting full-time at work on the 19th. Big up the me!

James: Man, look at those stupidly big earrings. They�re just too big.
Me: Mmm, you could give birth through them.

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