Of cowgirls and Swine 'Flu
07.05.09, 10:23 pm

It�s here, and there�s nowhere to hide. You cannot escape the unstoppable march of the Hideous Disney-themed Hen Do. This Saturday night I will be parading around Manchester city centre (or a tiny club-under-a-bar called Sublime to be precise) dressed as a cowgirl, and anyone wishing to mock me is very welcome to make the journey to the Rainy City. The outfit itself isn�t too bad - mostly black-and-white with a bright red neckchief crafted from a bandana. The boots are hideous � black felt things with big fringey bits. So hideous that Primark had them reduced to 8 shiny pounds; I felt a huge urge to justify my purchase to the girl behind the till, to explain that I was never going to wear them ever again, that I thought they were the most insane boots the world had ever seen. Sigh. It�s going to be a long Saturday, particularly as Mel and I are staying over at Becky�s on the Saturday night, and will need to make a sharp, hopefully hangover-free, exit on the Sunday morning before we get an awkward invite to church.

Anyway, enough of all that. Am off for drinkies after work, as it�s Andy�s last day before he does six months of clinical work. Definitely cannot get too drunk, as having a hangover for Saturday would literally be beyond human endurance. We are slowly moving labs at work, and I have spent the last week or so putting old bones in boxes, occasionally finding a dried-out horror in a long-forgotten cupboard. Have also finally booked a holiday � the boy and I are knobbing off to Cornwall at the end of June for a week, and I can�t bloody wait. If it rains the entire week we might be a bit screwed, but if it�s sunny then it should be fab. I�ve already put in a request for rock-pooling, ice-cream eating and sand dune surfing. The only downside is that it�s a six-hour drive, so we might want to kill each other by the time we arrive.

Speaking of driving. In Sheffield there is a roundabout called Brook Hill roundabout, or University roundabout. It is undoubtedly the insanest and most evil roundabout in England, if not the world, and every lesson so far I have cocked it up without fail. The day I manage to not stall, cut someone up or be cut up myself will be a happy day indeed. Apart from that driving lessons are going okay, I think. I don�t especially like driving in Sheffield, as I feel very tense afterwards, but my teacher says that I�m doing really well. Did a couple of �reverse around a corner�s that didn�t suck complete arse, so that�s something.

Received my swine �flu leaflet today from the Government. It�s a bit sad when we need a leaflet to teach basic hygiene, but it may come in handy as James is feeling a bit peaky and I imagine I�m first in line to become prime �Flu Network Friend. Actually feeling a bit tired myself, so may have to sod off to bed soon. If he�s given me Swine �Flu I�ll kill him.

Currently spending a lot of time watching season 7 of America�s Next Top Model, a show that I�m sadly a bit obsessional about. It�s probably just my inner lesbian surfacing. Speaking of which, seeing Girls Aloud next Friday! Aha ha, lovely Cheryl Cole prancing around on stage and looking bloody fantastic. Hope we�re not the only group of girls there purely for the perv-fest.

Must go sleep.

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