Interview, referral and some God stuff
04.06.06, 10:40 am

Mel�s exams finished on Friday, and I suspect that I�m just as relieved as she is, because her constant week of stress-likely-to-slip-into-panic-attack has been wearing me out. Saying that though, her dad�s been living with us for most of the week and taking care of her, as well as making the rest of us feel a bit embarrassed about the state of our horrible unhygienic kitchen. Her dad�s possibly the sweetest guy in the entire world, and his presence has made Mel even more Goerdie-sounding, if indeed that�s possible.

I actually started writing this entry on Saturday afternoon, but as always, stuff gets in the way and I have to save the entry and come back to it later. It�s now obviously Sunday, and I will try my hardest to get this done and dusted in the one sitting.

Now then, two life events occurred yesterday. Firstly, I got my cardiology referral through. Apparently they print all their referral letters in Comic Sans MS font on yellow paper because it�s calming, although to be honest a 24-hour ECG isn�t exactly ulcer inducing. Anyway, I�d rather have had my neurology referral come through, but beggars can�t be choosers. What is good news is that I don�t have to actually go into hospital for 24 hours; I get it fitted in the hospital and then just carry this little monitor thing around me in a �shoulder pouch or recorder box that can be clipped to the belt�. Clearly my shoulder pouch will look nothing but sexy and everyone will want one. It�s on the 12th July, which is a good month from now, and then I�ll finally know if I�m likely to drop dead from a heart attack at any minute or not. It�ll also hopefully bring an end to any SEH-based worry.

Secondly, I emailed Dr Cho again, who�s the guy I applied for the research assistant job with, and he emailed back yesterday afternoon to ask if I would come to his office once he gets back to Sheffield, and that he�ll be making his decision soon. Basically: INTERVIEW ALERT. He�s not said exactly when yet, but I�m hoping it�s sometime next week. It�s kind�ve exciting and kind�ve scary and I really, really want this job. It�s possibly the most fantastic job in the world � his lab is currently working on projects based on stem cell replacement therapy in Alzheimer�s � and I will be really quite gutted if I don�t get it. I hope I don�t come off as sounding too much like a total nob� I get the feeling I can be a little too chirpy sometimes.

Still haven�t come on my period. Starting to worry. It�s now 6 weeks of the mystery illness.

So, since I last wrote I�ve just been bumming around really. Some of the kids have gone home for a few days, so there�s just me, Mel, Em and Hannah in the house, and Hannah currently has a total strop on and is spending a lot of time of Guy�s. Yesterday morning I properly tidied and cleaned my room, by which I mean I finally took all the old bowls behind my desk downstairs and washed them up. The rest of the day was then spent in the park with Em, lounging around and talking about sex way too loudly, thinking about it. I nearly admitted the stand but decided at the last minute not to. And then last night me, Mel and Em went off to Interval and drank a lot of Pimms� again. Mel brought a pen and paper, because she�s crazy organized, and we devised a list of fun things we�re doing this weekend � my bank balance is going to loathe me. And Becky rang and I talked to her for a bit, which brings me to a faintly disturbing point.

Apparently this Christian weekend thing that she�s going on next weekend is actually a Healing Weekend. Becky�s got� erm, well I don�t want to say because it feels wrong to splash something that personal around, but she�s got a medical problem that can be treated but not fixed. And so she�s going to this weekend thing to see if God�ll fix it for her. I don�t have a problem with Christianity at all - I hope this journal makes that clear - but Becky�s religious thing is so intense and a little scary. And it makes no sense, even if it were possible to cure a medical condition by prayer� if it does makes sense then why do you have to pray all weekend for it to be cured? Why doesn�t God just fix it straight away? And why can�t everyone get fixed, do you have to go specifically on a Healing Weekend for God to fix you?

Writing that has just given me a memory flashback of me going into my mum�s room to say hello when she was really ill and not able to move around much, and upon seeing my questioning look at the small wonky wooden cross in her top drawer she picked it up and laughed and said, �It�s for me to clutch in my hour of need!� She wasn�t really religious in any way. I bet she sometimes asked to be fixed. Sorry, I just had to write that down otherwise it�ll float around in my head for the rest of the day.

Speaking of the rest of the day, I believe we�re soon off to do a Tesco shop, and then me, Mel and Em are going into the Peak District for the day, as it�s all sunny and warm, though the walking may kill me. Finally, because this entry has been so text heavy, here are a couple of pictures in case you�ve forgotten what I look like:

That is me posing by the pregnancy test machine in Interval toilets (hello, Irony!) looking a bit soulful. It�s in that black and white effect because the colour version looks awful due to the lighting. And that was taken just before Easter, because this is how I look post-mystery illness:

Most of the kids and me at The Damn House doing our final lunch out. I�m in the most unflattering pose ever, but have no excuse for the fact that I look like I�m smacked up on Valiums. Ah well.

Righty, Tesco calls and I need another cup of tea.

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