101 things
18th August 2003, 12:14 am

1. My name is Holly. It apparently means �bringer of good luck�, which sounds like a nice full-time occupation.

2. I doubt I do actually bring good luck, for the record.

3. I�d normally put my surname too, but nobody else seems to do this and I think I need to worry about stalkers more. I�ll give you a clue though: it�s a common Welsh surname.

4. Speaking of, my dad was adopted when he was 8 by my grandparents, who were indeed Welsh, and went to live in Monmouth. He was born in Swindon, a place I�m not entirely sure the location of.

5. I was born on the 26th March 1985 at The Queen�s Medical Centre in Nottingham at 1 pm. My mum always used to moan about how she had to miss lunch due to me arriving.

6. I lived in Nottingham for 18 years, until we moved up north after I left sixth form.

7. Consequently I have a vague Nottinghamshire accent, which almost disappears whenever I�m at Uni, and then comes back after I speak to one of my home friends. It�s not the classiest of accents, and sounds like a skanky South Yorkshire accent.

8. My school was the local comprehensive school, and also a �C of E aided comprehensive�. We had to lie and say that I went to church regularly, even though being C of E aided just seemed to entail the local vicar coming in and taking assembly every Monday morning.

9. After school I went on to 6th form (one of the best decisions I ever made, as 6th form rocked) and took A levels in Biology, Chemistry, Maths and General Studies.

10. My results were pretty rubbish. I got three Cs and a D (Chemistry), and thinking about them still makes me cringe.

11. My grades were below my required ones for Uni, and consequently my head of 6th form had to ring up the Uni for me to see if I got in, whilst I sat nervously watching him. I got in, and had to resist the urge to jump up and down and scream in his face.

12. My grades were low because I spent too much of my free time in the pub across the road playing pool (badly) and making up songs for My Little Pony toys with my best friend, Lise.

13. I�m currently at Sheffield doing a BSc in Neuroscience. It�s not as intelligent as it sounds, trust me.

14. At the time of writing this I�m nearing the end of my final year, which means that I�ll soon possess a shiny degree and have no idea what to do with it. I�m pretty much on track for a 2:1 (jinx alert).

15. Going to Uni has, without a doubt, been the most fantastic thing that I could have ever done.

16. I live with 6 other girls, and have done for two years now. In first year I lived in Sorby Hall of Residence on G floor. This meant a climb of six flights of stairs to my room.

17. I think I�m done talking about academic stuff for the time being.

18. I�m 5�4� and wish I were a couple of inches taller.

19. I�m a size 4, which is incredibly handy, and have tiny hands to match. My little finger�s only 4.5 cm long.

20. My middle name is Roanne. My parents weren�t sure if it was a real name or not, but decided to go with it anyway.

21. I used to be very blonde as a child, but that�s now faded to a very light brown. I also used to own a Mega fringe, which created a boy-free radius of about 10 miles wherever I went.

22. My eyes are blue, but can look green in the right light.

23. I crack my knuckles whenever I�m bored or nervous, and it gets on everyone else�s tits constantly.

24. My sister once asked me whether my eyebrows would join together in the middle if I stopped plucking them. I�m happy to announce that they would not.

25. She seemed really disappointed by this answer, so I�m guessing that hers really do.

26. Yes, I have a sister. Her name is Alice and she�s 24.

27. She currently works as an actuary (someone who works out stuff like insurance and pensions for big companies) and is so intelligent that it�s almost painful. She got 4 As in her A levels and graduated with a 1st in Maths with French.

28. She now works in Paris for a French firm. I don�t get to see her very often. There�s not a lot else to say about that really.

29. Oh, wait. I can kind�ve speak French, but it�s been a while. I also know random German phrases from the three years� teaching I had at school, my favourite being "Wie komme ich am bestem zum Bahnhof bitte?", which translates as "Please could you tell me the way to the train station?"

30. I�m right-handed and have really small handwriting that everyone always bitches about. Wear glasses then.

31. Speaking of, I have to wear glasses for long-distance stuff. I should probably wear them all the time, but they make me look like a big librarian and I�m vain when it comes to them. Instead I just wear them for lectures and watching telly.

32. They cost me �136 (short-sighted AND astigmatism, I�ll have you know) and yet I still sit on them constantly and forget to put them in their shiny box.

33. My worst habit would have to be leaving old mugs of tea still containing the dregs everywhere. They then get mouldy and then everything turns bad.

34. I also swear too much. I can�t help it, it just comes out, and the harder I try not to the more sporadic and offensive it becomes.

35. I started playing piano when I was 7, and got up to Grade 6 before life stuff happened and I stopped having lessons. I�ve now lost all of my technique, but can still read music at least.

36. Whilst I was at school I learned trumpet, and got up to Grade 5 standard. My music teacher was called Mr Cherry, and I always got the feeling that he found me a little bizarre.

37. Finishing off this music theme, I then started playing the guitar at 15. I firstly asked my dad to teach me a few chords (first ever chord was Em� I know, challenging), and then went on to basically teach myself. That looks really smug written down.

38. I currently own both an acoustic and an electric, and they are my most treasured possessions in the whole world. I think I�m quite a good player now too, although I�ll probably never be as good as my dad is.

39. I�m also not a bad singer, and had lessons for a while. To be honest, I see it as lucky genes in my case. The random singing that I do doesn�t really require much technical skill.

40. I sing too much. No really, you�d be pissed off if you had to live with me. If I�m not crooning along to my guitar then I�m singing some awful dance song whilst making a cup of tea, sometimes going as far as to do a crazy bop around the kitchen.

41. No one�s ever said it, but I don�t think I�m the best of dancers. I have plenty of rhythm but very little balance.

42. Following on from this, I can�t roller skate or ice skate. I loathe them both because of this.

43. I�m MSG intolerant, which is a flavour enhancer that is added to a lot of fun food that I�ve now had to give up � it�s also the main ingredient of soy sauce. I basically get a 24-hour migraine and throw up for 6 hours straight.

44. Worst. Food. Allergy Ever.

45. I�ve had to give up almost all Chinese food and stir-fry sauces, and have to pedantically check labels.

46. I�ve only had my ears pierced once, nothing else. I used to want a tattoo (during my rebellious teenage phase) but not anymore.

47. I really like ironing, which is definitely one of my geekier character traits. I offer to do everyone�s ironing for them and find it weirdly soothing.

48. Currently own two cats (at least, my dad does), which used to be three, until the orange one completely burned himself out at the age of 6 and had some kind of heart attack. As soon as I have my own house I�m going to get an orange kitten and call it Christopher.

49. Quite scared of spiders � one once crawled up my face, which I didn�t notice until I looked in the mirror. I then proceeded to freak out and succeeded in getting it tangled up in my hair, before finally disposing of it. Bastarding spider.

50. I also once managed to have a wasp crawl inside my ear, where I proceeded to buzz a lot and then sting me.

51. Continuing on this pain theme, I broke my arm when I was 3 whilst bouncing on my parents� bed. I kind�ve landed on it funny. It really hurt.

52. Going to take things down to a serious level now. My mum died when I was 13, on the 13th January 1999 from secondary site lung cancer, after suffering with cancer on and off for the past two years. She was 43, a special needs teacher and a truly wonderful person.

53. Her death ripped everybody�s lives apart, and I chose to deal with it by not talking about it, and to instead get on with things and push it all to the back of my mind. A completely crap way of dealing with things, to be honest, but I can see why I chose it.

54. My dad met Bernie when I was 16 and in 6th form. She lived in Manchester however, and so once I�d finished 6th form we sold our house and moved up to Manchester. Bernie also sold her house, and they bought ramshackle one on the end of her old street and started doing it up from scratch.

55. Bernie died on the 15th January 2003 from an aneurysm in her cerebellum, which struck out of the blue and was unstoppable. She lay in a coma for three days, before being declared technically brain-dead. Her and my dad had planned on getting married that spring.

56. Her death ripped our lives apart again. My dad suffered from depression for about a year, we had horrendous money problems and everything was pretty black for a long time.

57. Both my mum and Bernie dying has consequently completely changed me as a person. I�m not going to bother saying how though, because I think it�s quite obvious, even if you don�t know me in real life.

58. I dealt with Bernie dying in exactly the same way as I did with my mum. This has completely come back and kicked me in the face, as when I was in second year I developed a sort-of anxiety problem, which I call my anxiety-gig in this diary.

59. My heart has this tendency to do a weird spasmy extra beat when I�m exercising or nervous or a bit drunk. I basically developed an irrational fear of dying, focussed on this extra heartbeat (I call it my stupid extra heartbeat, or SEM, in this thing).

60. Now I�m a lot better, although in the beginning it was pretty bad and still rears up. I don�t exactly crouch in the corner and shake and hyperventilate; it�s more I have a split-second panic and then stress about it for a while. It basically makes me unhappy as opposed to affects me physically.

61. To help myself with the whole anxiety-gig plus dying issues, I tried counselling at the University. Probably one of the most depressing things I�ve had to do, and it always just left me angry and feeling crap. I�m still not sure if it helped in the slightest.

62. In third year I tried hypnotherapy, which was incredibly hard work and made me really uncomfortable at times, but does seem to have helped. The problem�s still here but only in the background, and I know that one day I will lose the shadow completely.

63. Enough of the depressing stuff. I own two cacti and a bonsai tree, which is currently looking a bit sickly and is probably not long for this earth.

64. I absolutely love cricket, and spent the whole of last summer either talking about the Ashes at work and listening to it on the radio, or going to the pub after work and watching it on the big screen. My dad used to make me watch it with him since I was little, and taught me all the rules.

65. I�m a wee bit dyslexic, in that I get my left and my right mixed up. It�s so very basic, and yet I always think everything is left. I have to do that thing where you hold your hands up and trace L for Left down the index finger and across the thumb.

66. I�m one of those smug ex-smokers. I started when I was 15 and quit when I was 18, but then started up again after Bernie died. I then quit cigarettes but would still share a spliff with my dad whenever I was home. I completely quit sometime in my second year, partly because of the anxiety gig but mostly because I figured that my lungs had endured enough damage.

67. My dad is a regular weed smoker (as was Bernie, and my mum when she was in pain from the cancer), and consequently I have an incredibly liberal attitude towards it though. I�d never touch anything else though.

68. Also saying that, the amount that my dad smokes does worry me. And when Ciaran, who�s Bernie�s son, is home it turns into Cannabis Capital.

69. I�m an Aries, which apparently makes me independent, spontaneous, intolerant, enthusiastic, selfish and blunt.

70. I lost my virginity after I�d just turned 17 to my then-boyfriend, James. It really wasn�t that great.

71. I�m straight, although have been told that I�m a pseudo-lesbian, probably because I fancy women like Eliza Dushku and Angelina Jolie. I�m currently getting over falling in love with my best friend, Paddy, only for him to reject me and claim that he doesn�t feel anything back. It hurt an incredible amount and I still don�t know if I believe him or not.

72. Have also kissed two girls, during a drunken night of alcohol. It�s exactly the same as kissing a bloke. One of them was Lise, one of my best friends, and we still laugh about it now and argue over who was the better kisser (me, obviously).

73. I�ve been a regular gym goer for the last two years, and am finally happy with my weight. I still have no stamina at all, however, and totally die on the cross-trainers every time.

74. Hate marzipan, eggs and tomatoes. Everything else is great, especially spare ribs, Nutella, curry and Drumstick lollies.

75. I have one surviving grandparent, my gran, who lives back in Nottingham. I don�t see her too often, which always makes me feel guilty, so I try to ring her as often as I can.

76. My first summer of Uni was spent working in a clothes warehouse in Manchester, where I dealt with faulty deliveries and fielded complaints and orders from shops. The place was full of chavs and freezing cold, but it wasn�t a bad job.

77. My second summer was spent working on a Motor Neurone Disease project over at The Medical School. It was one of the best things that I�ve ever done, and I was so lucky to get the placement. It cemented my desire to become some kind of research scientist into neurodegenerative diseases.

78. Whilst at 6th form I worked in a newsagent and got paid �3.75 an hour. I robbed the pick-and-mix constantly, and was so bored sometimes that I�d make smiley face pictures out of staples.

79. I was born in the year of the Ox and on a Tuesday.

80. Me and my dad are more like two people that are quite fond of each other rather than father and daughter. For a few years after my mum died we didn't really get on at all, but it's better now.

81. I love talking to answer machines, and will ramble away on them for hours and hours.

82. As I was growing up my parents apparently expected me to be gay. 83. I�ve been to France, Greece (twice), Morocco and Tunisia, and really want to go to the USA, South America and China.

84. I cannot fall asleep if I lie on my back.

85. I was captain of my rounders team, played backstop and was actually pretty damn good. I sound so smug sometimes.

86. Heights don�t actually scare me, but I go really dizzy if I look straight down. 87. My sister once tied me to a tree and thought it was absolutely hilarious.

88. My dad�s house phone ringtone is a shitty polyphonic version of Spring by Vivaldi and pisses me off every damn time.

89. I make stupid innuendos about sex and sex-associated stuff all the time. I can�t help it; crudeness just amuses me.

90. I�m enthusiastic about most things, probably to the point of being annoying. Musically, the best song to sum me up would probably be Basement Jaxx � Do Your Thing. Thinking of a song to sum me up lyrically feels a little cheesy, so I won�t bother.

91. I really like gardening, mainly because both my dad and my gran love it, and I always mow my gran�s lawn for her when I�m down in the summer. I also tried to teach her how to use the Internet one summer, which I�m never repeating again.

92. I�m not the most patient of people.

93. Disney films still rock (bar The Jungle Book) and I have huge crushes on Aladdin and Eric from The Little Mermaid. When me, Becky and Mel get drunk, we inevitably end up singing A Whole New World or Part Of Your World.

94. Faithless � Insomnia and Chemical Brothers � Galvanize are two of my most favourite tracks to get ready to.

95. Sheffield�s Freshers Week student anthem song was Blu Cantrell Feat. Sean Paul � Breathe. That fact makes me feel really quite old. God, I want to be a student forever.

96. Lise made a gingerbread house out of real biscuits and buttons and stuff in 6th form as part of her Art courseowkr, and I ate one of the glue-covered buttons for a bet, about a year after she made it. My stomach wasn�t that impressed with my offering.

97. I�m not very good at opening up to people because I�m not used to it, and I hardly ever cry, probably because I hate admitting to myself that something�s affecting me.

98. I hold my pen wrong, which has only just been pointed out to me.

99. Camomile tea sucks ass. I only started drinking tea when I was 20, after deciding that it was high time for me to become an adult and consequently forcing it down until I liked it.

100. My most favourite thing about myself is probably my sense of humour.

101. Done and done.

last - next