bad girls and bed
12 September 2003, 11:28 pm

my dad's blood pressure is now about 165 over 101, so it's falling quite steadily. we're making him take it easy and lie in in the mornings, so by next wednesday he should be right as rain again.

i'm on my way to bad girls and bed, but i thought i'd pause and write an entry before i go. today's been pretty uneventful - my dad, martin and tom pulled the porch down - that gross wooden porch that made the house look like a butlins shalley - and it's now lying in bits in the skip on the drive. thet cats have been chasing squirrels all day; bernie's pissed off with orange as he's been climbing onto the cooker and all sorts.

i forgot to mention this in the last entry. on the thursday before we moved we scattered my mum's ashes in burnt stump park. my mum spent a lot of time there, mainly dragging me around, so it seemed fitting, and it's a place we can go back to if we want. it was a really nice evening... the sun was setting and it was warm. i grabbed big handfuls and threw them high into the air; to quote an email, it made me feel like i was setting her free, and letting her be a part of that gorgeous evening.

talked to lise last night, and apologised for not making it down in time for her 19th. she's fine, just quit her job of five days (typical lise)... she's got a new one lined up at queen's though. also spoke to lindz - she's popping in tomorrow afternoon, as she's in manchester at the moment. be nice to see her, a link back to the homeland.

i realise i haven't written one word about my feelings on living in manchester, because to be honest i have no idea how i am exactly feeling. there's nothing there at all, it's bizarre. i always know what i'm feeling and why, so this is very different to the norm... i'm sure i'll figure it out eventually though.

i've had leg cramps for three days now... knowing my luck it'll be deep vein thrombosis at 18.

scattering the ashes felt awkward because i wasn't on my own. maybe one day i'll start behaving like a normal person and start sharing how i feel with people, and stop being so scared of showing how i really feel. bleugh.

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