not about housing at all
29th November 2003, 1:23 am
well here i am, as promised again. it's so fricking cold in here it's affecting my typing, so apologies for any major spelling errors.
it's the weekend... god i'm so glad. didn't make my 9 o'clock this morning due to extreme tiredness, so got to watch the whole of trisha for once. managed to make it to my other two lectures though, except paddy wasn't there, which was crappy. however, we're going out for a meal tomorrow night, so i'm not too fussed. why is it you always get major paranoid feelings during the first couple of weeks??
we're coming onto week 10, man how scary is that. this means that in three weeks time i'll be home for christmas... for a whole month. mmm a whole month, that's like a double christmas.
i haven't started moodswinging yet, even though i'm on the rag, and for that i am eternally grateful. been spending a lot of time thinking about lindz's dad though, and how lindz is doing. they're probably only giving him radiotherapy to get him through christmas... god it's like a replay of my life, it really is. lindz told me that they've moved his bed into the lounge... god it really is a replay.
it'll be five years soon, and i think i've healed almost completely - if anyone had told me at the time that it'd take five years to get through it, i would've probably done something seriously bad - but then i get moments when i forget she's not there, which sounds insane given the timescale. i still dream about her, and still think about her every day, but it's a great deal easier now. still, with len the way he is it is a constant reminder, selfish as that sounds.
god i hope lindz is doing alright; when she rang me and told me, she said at the end, in tears, "i just... i know it sounds selfish, but i just wish you were here".
sorry, this entry was meant to be about housing, and instead has taken a depressing downward spiral. i hope he makes christmas, he's such a fantastic guy and lindz adores him, i mean why do so many good people have to die early?
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