None can escape my Green Dragon
23.01.07, 8:16 pm

First snow of winter on Sunday, which was very exciting, before rapidly turning unexciting as it all melted into mush. Oh bloody hell. As usual, I�ve neglected this diary and as a consequence three million things have happened, which I�m not now going to be able to do justice to because I don�t want to lumber everyone with a three-hour read. Ah balls to it; you�re getting a three-hour read � I just loving rambling on too much. Trivial events first, then a little philosophising to finish.

Friday night and the meeting of James� friends went as well as can be expected, except I rambled on about my job for far too long, got increasingly age conscious and was totally exhausted by nine o�clock. James� friends were at least his age (24), and their boyfriends older, and it just made me a little self-conscious. Anyway, I battled through until half ten and then had to ask James to walk me home before I crashed out on his sofa. Think it earned me some serious brownie points though, so worth it ultimately.

Tai Chi on Saturday was a complete and utter fiasco. As Indie Chick only moved to Sheffield a few months ago she�s not too fantastic at navigation, and so it took her half an hour to get to my flat (probably about a mile from her house). Consequently we were horrendously late by the time we dragged ourselves to Chesterfield College � Chesterfield is a very scary part of the UK, for the record. We decided to see if we could gatecrash the intermediate class instead, and so hung around the canteen for twenty minutes whilst various chavy (chavvy?) girls gave us looks. We were indeed allowed to join the intermediate class�

� and proceeded to flail our way through a few devastatingly difficult routines. Everyone in the class had been doing Tai Chi for at least a year, and all I�d done was some yoga. It was interesting� much harder than it looks and really quite tiring, plus I spent half the time trying not to laugh at the man next to me, who I can only describe as Tufty McMullet. Did enjoy it though, and next week we will definitely be attending the beginners� class.

Once we were finished, I texted James with, �Aha! I am Tai Chi master extraordinaire! None can escape my Green Dragon!� Speaking of which, the Scottish One and me had The Talk on Saturday night whilst watching Battle Royale (of all films), and we are officially a couple. I become full of mush whenever I think about it.

Lisa�s exams are currently in full flow � she�s incredibly, incredibly stressed, so I try my best to help by making her cups of tea and telling her to go to bed. The first one was today, and I came home from work completely prepared to either join in with the celebrations if it had gone well or lend my shoulder for cryage should it have gone badly, only to discover that she�s buggered off out somewhere and is yet to return or inform me as to how the exam went. My wonderful Best Friend intentions are foiled once again!

Finally, for reasons I have no idea of, I�ve agreed to go out for a drink on Saturday night with Lisa, Linda and two of their random French friends whom I�ve never met and are visiting this weekend, and to bring James with me. These French friends are staying at the flat (God knows where), and so it�s going to be total French city this weekend. Harrumph. Not that I have anything against these people, but it�s going to put a total kibosh on my plans of sitting around reading the paper and eating Kit-Kats in my combats.

I don�t mind admitting to all you wonderful readers that I�ve been pretty worried about myself for the past couple of months. I don�t normally worry about myself in that way but I have been, in a kind�ve �I�m losing my grip, and could get depressed if I�m not careful�. Ha, that sounds amazingly melodramatic. I just mean that sometimes, when the ME and the anxiety gig were rife and sounding off each other and making my day awful, I did sometimes think that everything was completely hopeless.

However, I think the awful mood I�ve been in since around Christmas is lifting. I did wonder if it was the after effects of sacking off the St. John�s Wort, and whether I�d have to go back on it again (and consequently was suffering with depression). I seem to be perking up though, and feeling more like my normal self. Since Wednesday�s CBT I also feel like I�m turning a corner with the anxiety gig. I know that it�s possibly only temporary, but it shows that I can beat it with work. And I�m really trying hard. I guess what I�m trying to say, in a really long-winded way, is that life feels good again, despite all its obstacles.

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