And everybody's gotta learn sometime
22.03.07, 10:40 pm

Oh, I have been so poor in keeping this thing updated. I do apologise. As always, a lot has happened, but I�ll do my best not to ramble on too much.

First thing�s first, the boy and I went down to London at the weekend. I personally think that three hours on a train with me is quite a gruelling task, but he handled it admirably. We eventually pulled in at St. Pancras and started to talk towards the underground. I was absolutely freezing and in a bit of a strange mood, though I didn�t know why. Finally got on the tube and I suddenly realised that I didn�t like the underground at all, and had a deep crazy urge to jump off of the train and claw my way to the outside world with my bare hands. Consequently this and all subsequent journeys were spent with my head buried in James�s chest, eyes closed, quoting Bridget Jones�s Diary lines to myself. I got better as the weekend went on, but still. I�m such a phobophile.

London itself was most excellent, and I remain amazed that James was not driven completely insane by three solid days in my company. We went to te British museum Saturday morning, and both got geekily excited over all of the old stuff. Indeed I almost orgasmed with delight at the ancient hand tools, and the boy talked for so long about the Mayan stone tablet that I ended up sitting on the floor. We then queued for 3000 years to get on the London Eye but it was worth it. I mean yes, my height phobia was a bit of an issue, but as long as I didn�t look straight down or register exactly where we were on the wheel it was fine.

Saturday night was spent at the theature, and then Sunday morning at the Natural History Museum. It took three and a half ours to get back to Sheffield because we had to fanny around near Kettering. I was absolutely exhausted by this point but it was okay, because London was a good place. My most favourite part had to have been the following conversation that took place between me and the bloke wanting to search my bag at the Natural History Museum:

Man: Open your bag. Hey, open your bag!
Me: Oh, sorry. There you go.
Man (rummaging through my bag): Any sharp objects?
Me: Erm, don�t think so.
Man: You don�t know? Is this your bag?
Me: �
Man (without waiting for a reply, pulls out my hairdryer): What is this?!
Me (deadpan): It�s a hairdryer.
Man: Go.

He obviously thought my big purple hairdryer was some sort of ray gun - a ray gun so amazing that it had to be plugged in and was owned by a short 21-year old girl who really wanted to have a look at the stuffed animals.

So, what else has been happening? Well, Becky (hadn�t seen her for six months) and Mel suddenly descended without warning on Tuesday night and stayed until Thursday. We had a big huousekid reunion in the pub on Wednesday night and I felt like a total student. And a part of me wishes that I was still one, if only so that I could live with them all again.

Okay, ready for the crushing emotional stuff? Well not really, but it felt like some kind of warning was necessary. Anyway, thankfully the devastating mood swings and depression has gone, and I now just have random patches where I�m sad for no reason. This is so very preferable I can�t put it into words. I also went to a counselling session yesterday, and in a nutshell she thinks that I have huge problems with my feelings. This is undeniably true, because everyone knows that I am a complete and utter emotional tard and hide everything horrible that�s happened to me behind jokes and flippant remarks. And I know the reason why I have problems but I�m not going to write about it because, well, even I have things that I�d rather not talk about. I know, quelle surprise!

Went out to Pizza Express tonight with Lisa and Linda, and managed to remain the only sober one. This was undoubtedly a good thing.

Me: Straight couple sex is much better than lesbian sex though, because there�s loads more variety possible.
Lisa: No way.
Linda: Although you can�t really say that, seeing as you�ve never had sex with a man.
Me: Exactly.
Linda: Yeah, but you can�t say it either because you haven�t had sex with a woman.
Me: No but I have had sex with myself, so I�ve got some idea at least.

Finally, James and I have been together for over three months now, and last night I went over to his for tea. We were lying on the sofa together listening to some music, and I suddenly got the courage from somewhere and told him that I love him. And he told me that he loves me too. It�s all really really scary but I don�t want it to end.

Good news: James wants me to go with him home to Dumfries for Easter.
Bad news: My sister�s birthday is on Easter weekend and she�s in Manc for it.
Solution: No sodding idea.

Really actually finally � it�s my birthday on Monday and I shall be 22. Argh argh argh.

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