Ramblings about Stepmother Dearest, hideous family meals and the new coat
04.12.07, 9:22 pm

Current life goings-on, in convenient bullet-point format. We�re all lazy and we know it.

� The student loans people are currently taking �8 a month from my salary. That�s less than a third of the interest, and is so very pointless. I could use that �8 on a Christmas present for Stepmother Dearest.

� I finished work forty minutes late today, due to me having to attend a highly tedious meeting about bone lesions. Consequently it was pitch black when I started walking home, but I luckily managed to befriend a random woman whilst walking through the scary park that has no lighting. We had a very lovely thank-God-you�re-here-so-I-don�t-get-raped conversation about what we both did at the hospital. She worked in the Children�s Hospital looking at sleeping disorders � apnoea and stuff. Stupidest sentence from me: �So I guess you get to see a lot of sleeping children then?�

� My sister is thinking about moving back to England, which would be incredibly fantastic. I�m obviously not saying that to her though, because people who have to make big life-changing decisions do not need family members bleating, �Please come home for my own selfish reasons! And bring some Milka with you!�

� We�re going down to my gran�s the Sunday before Christmas, to have an early Christmas thing with her. My dad is coming, though he is being completely ungrateful in his usual All About Me way. Stepmother Dearest is not coming, for the following reason: �Well, erm, ah, you see, erm, someone, erm� someone has to do some Christmas cooking!� I�m sorry, some what? Not that I�m at ALL gutted that she�s not coming (and my gran will be secretly overjoyed too), but at least try and make up a decent excuse. Also: you completely ungrateful witch � my gran came up for your wedding when she was recovering from her operation and that�s the best lie you can think of. You�re so unbelievably lame and crap.

� Oh, and we're not having a Christmas tree this year. We're apparently having an ultra-modern Christmas, so the tree is to be replaced by a big festive red horn. Make of that what you will. My dad got very defensive when I said, "A big red horn?! Erm, okay then. I'm sure it'll be... lovely". This is clearly more of Stepmother Dearest's Scroogeness at work. And because my mind is corrupted, the idea of a big red horn is very very dirty.

� My new guitar has arrived at my dad�s house, and is apparently AMAZING. God bless Ebay and all who sail in her.

� I have to go with James and his family for a hideous meal up in Falkirk with Uncle Gordon and Auntie Liz (and sprogs) over New Year. These are the same people who I had to have the big hideous family meal with when I arrived in Dumfries for the wedding. I remember going into the front room afterwards and saying, �Where shall I sit?� and James�s sister saying, �Just don�t sit next to Uncle Gordon.� Apparently I�m the honorary guest. Doubtless this will produce another �So what do you do, Holly?� scene, where I try to make my job seem more glamorous and less messy and methodical, and always fail horribly.

� The new coat has special powers, as three strangers have so far tried to chat me up (shop assistant, Caf� Nero person, bus driver). I have to admit, it does make me feel very busy and important.

� Yesterday a bus nearly hit me.

� I had the day off on Friday and finally got my hair cut. The hairdresser spent the entire hour telling me about all the failed Match.com dates that she�d been on. I honestly wasn�t that interested.

� I�ve finally watched all six Star Wars films. They�re quite good, but not as good as everyone makes them out to be. And Attack of the Clones is really quite bollocksy in parts. I would, however, completely ravish Harrison Ford back in his day.

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