Of charity events and ME
15.11.08, 3:07 pm

The boy is safely away downstairs, watching the rugby with some coffee, so I�m good to write this entry. Have been in a very strange mood of late, which is down to the horrible hormones currently coursing through my body. Last Sunday I went from Very Blue to Deliriously Happy solely through the act of singing Help Yourself by Tom Jones over and over again to myself in my reflection in the window whilst bouncing on the bed in the spare bedroom. It was literally the highlight of my day, which is profoundly worrying. Wonderful song though.

But yes, horribly hormonal at the moment, which isn�t helping my growing terror as the Leukaemia Research Fund charity event that we�re throwing at work looms ever closer. It�s on the 5th December and I�m meant to be playing and singing Ain�t No Sunshine with my friend Andy, who�s an amazing jazz guitarist. I also have to accompany someone else who�s singing Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Every time I think of it I feel slightly sick, not least because I am convinced that I�m going to fadge up the guitar part. The singing should be okay, as that�s just lucky genes and not reliant on any mechanical help. The playing, on the other hand, is just asking for trouble. I get so nervous playing in front of other people, which makes my hands shake, which, in turn, messes up my playing. There will be a hell of a lot of people there, most of whom I will have to face the following Monday morning, and... oh God.

In happier news, I have made massive steps with the ME, in that I currently swim 1000m each swimming session now, as opposed to the depressing 550m that I used to average, and can even manage three sessions a week. I don�t know how it happened but I suddenly jumped in terms of strength and stamina, and also feel barely any after-effects the next day. It�s amazing, frankly, and makes me very hopeful. I�ve had no strength in my arms since I first got ill, and maybe that�s now changing. I�m determined to be one of the people who gets better from ME; I refuse to just roll over. It�s incredibly frustrating a lot of the time, and I�m still not there yet, but I will do.

Enough of the Hallmark mush and onto other news. Well, Amanda�s new job as an allotment manager isn�t going very well, which I�m just devastated about. Apparently the place is huge, and she doesn�t know what she�s doing, and her line manager is awful and unorganised, and the people there aren�t very friendly, and frankly Amanda�s co-workers have ALL my sympathy. My sister is moving back to England at the end of the month, which is cracking news, and I�m going to see my grandmother on Wednesday night, and she is aghast that I�m not wearing �a nice dress� for the LRF charity do: �You�ll be up at the front and everyone will be able to see you. Honestly, Holly, you will make sure you wear something nice, won�t you?�

Off to Nicole�s tonight for some tea, along with Katie and Indie. Nicole�s banned from talking about thesises (what is the plural of thesis?!), not least because Katie will eat her head through stress. So glad I�m no longer a student. Very much looking forward to a night of Cheryl lusting, not least because I�ve finally got my new glasses and will consequently be able to make her out.

I�ve had two more science papers published and, amazingly, our 5% pay rise is going to be honoured this month. Go work! Going to go make a cup of tea now and read the paper. Oh hang on, forgot to say - the bridesmaid dress did not fit in the slightest and made me look like Shrek, so that plan has thankfully been abandoned. We�re now all on supposed look-out for a suitable dress, but I doubt I�ll be the one to find the miracle dress, seeing as I spend most of my waking hours incarcerated in a cold dingy lab tacked onto the side of a dingy concrete hospital.

Very much cup of tea time now.

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