Of birthdays and bridesmaid dresses
06.11.08, 6:08 pm

Deary me, haven�t updated for a while. I can�t spend much time on making this entry a masterpiece either as I�m off out soon, as it�s Mel�s 24th birthday (TWENTY FOUR! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!) and she�s down in Sheffield for the night with her sisters. Em�s coming out too, so it should be a cracking night. The Birthday Girl is currently very grumpy, as she�s in MeadowHell trying on the royal blue halter-neck bridesmaid dress that Becky has commanded that we must wear:

�Well, it kind�ve fits at the waist but it�s very gapey at the top, and my lack of boobs are doing me no favours. To the side of the left boob bit there�s just air, Hol, there�s just a space. And I have nothing to put there. It�s very revealing too... pretty much boobs in your face, except not in my case.�

I do not have the physique to carry off a halter-neck, as anyone who has seen me will attest to. My boobs are too big and my shoulders are too wide. I am going to look like a linebacker. I will be on virtually every single photograph hulking about like a giant steroids accident. Everyone at work makes teeth-sucking noises whenever I show them a picture of the dress.

Em�s response: �Has Becky seen your boobs recently?�
Katie�s response: �Your boobs are going to be under your chin.�
Julia�s response: �Ahh...�

I have to try the dress on on Sunday, and take a picture so everyone can see it. Anyway, Mel is also grumpy because Becky is not coming down tonight to celebrate Mel�s birthday as she�s rather go to a church meeting, which she does every Thursday night. It�s pretty shitty really, given the rubbish year that Mel�s had so far, and given that IT�S HER BIRTHDAY, and I think words are going to have to be said, which will not be pleasant. I�m starting to get the feeling that this wedding is going to be nothing but trouble.

In other news, I was up in Market Wheighton (population: 12) last weekend with James, visiting two of his friends. They�re both geography teachers, and you can tell. That�s quite unfair... Paul�s lovely and Suzanne is nice, just very teachery. We went into York, which was gorgeous, and had some tea, before going back home and going to the pub. I got pretty trashed and got to watch the X Factor results on a telly that was propped on an armchair in a random room in the pub that we were inexplicably allowed to sit in, so that was good. Daniel and his dreadful sob story need to go home. Why don�t people have any dignity any more?

The students are both presenting tomorrow in front of quite a lot of people, so everyone�s quite stressed and unhappy, especially when PowerPoint refuses to behave like a normal unschizophrenic piece of software. I now have to go dry my hair, do my makeup, write Mel�s birthday card and then ring my father. Saving the best till last!

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