Of family and career woes
09.12.08, 10:25 pm
It will come as a surprise to no one that I�m on the edge of yet another family crisis. I won�t bother going into the tedious details of how, but my dad has once again acted like a total knobhead and hurt me. He�s completely unrepentant, refuses to acknowledge that he�s done anything wrong, and though it�s clear that it�s Amanda�s influence that�s making him act like such a dick it�s really no excuse by now. I�ve just been on the phone to my sister, who�s finally moved back to the UK (and consequently very grumpy), and she�s planning on having a Big Talk with him to discuss his generally shitty behaviour. Possibly this Sunday, and if not then then at Christmas, and she thinks it�ll go better if I�m not there. This is bound to go badly, as all talks with my dad end badly, but I guess we need to give him a chance to change things.
Been a bit depressed at work today, due to the family stuff and the fact that I�m having a slight career crisis. On Friday night, at the charity do, I got stuck talking to one of Robin�s awful friends from the Kroto, who told me that I was stuck in a dead-end job and would never go anywhere. At the time it didn�t bother me massively (though still bothered me somewhat), and I figured that I�d quickly forget about it, but instead it�s hung about in the back of my mind, mixing with the vague niggles that I�ve been having over the past few months. Do I do a PhD? I don�t think I particularly want to, but I also know that I�m capable of doing one. I�d just probably hate most of it, and doing a PhD solely to further your career is a dreadful reason to do one. I just feel restless, and know that I�m able to do a more challenging and stretching job, but also know that I lack drive and have a tendency for complacency. I love the people that I work with, I love the fact that I don�t take work home with me, I love that work never stresses me out or gets me down. I love contributing to cancer research, feeling like I�m making a difference. I just worry that I should be doing more, trying to achieve greater things, making more of an impact in the world. I think I�m just lazy. That and happy to stay out of the limelight.
Rest of the charity night was great though � my singing went fine, thank Christ, and I ended up winning the spoof X Factor event, despite being promised that there would be no result. Some awful drunken photos of me are available on Facebook. Had the most unjust hangover on Saturday � I wasn�t that drunk but spent most of the day unable to keep anything down... even cups of tea just came right back up again. James was particularly lovely and looked after me all day, even trooping off to my house to pick me up some new jeans as I managed to get some sick on my old ones (sorry). Oh God, I nearly forgot. It was Katie and Nicole�s last day on Friday too, and so the whole research group had a final coffee break and ate lots of flapjack and gave out leaving cards. And then I was in the lab cutting some sections and they turned up with a wee homemade leaving card, which featured Girls Aloud on the front with our heads superimposed onto Cheryl, Sarah and Nadine�s heads, and inside it I was informed that we would be going to see Girls Aloud in May! Possibly the most amazing leaving present in the history of mankind... much better than my leaving presents to them. Am beyond excited, as Girls Aloud are my huge guilty pleasure and the concert will just turn into one big Cheryl perv session. Can�t frickin� wait.
It�s the work Christmas party on Thursday... cannot get too drunk, as I have to come into work the following day and be nice to the Uber Boss�s visiting colleague, and I cannot function at all with a hangover. We�re doing a Secret Santa again (creation of SATAN) and the theme this year is �When I was five I wanted to be...� I bought my person a vicar outfit. Hope my present isn�t anything to do with hookers.
last - next