Something about guitars and Zoe
26.01.12, 7:34 pm

I would have written sooner, but I've fallen head-over-heels in love with my new guitar and can hardly bear to put it down for two seconds. Oh God, it's so beautiful and wonderful; I've played it so much that my fingertips are raw, and whenever I close my eyes I see frets. For anyone who gives a solitary shit, it's a Yamaha CPX500 and it sounds like God himself strung it. And, fantastically, I sound ten times better on it than my old acoustic � bonus!

Buying it on Saturday with my dad was really fun, too. It was just so nice to spend time with him on his own, something I haven't done for maybe 3 years. We got the bus to Stockport and back, and went for a coffee after we'd piddled about on all the guitars and then bought God's Guitar, so had loads of time to just chat. Once we got home the fun rapidly died as Bloody Amanda took over everything, but it didn't matter. The weekend was already a total winner.

It's day 6 of James not being here, and I'm now starting to feel quite lonely in the evenings. I don't know quite when I became so dependent... I've lived on my own for ages and been okay with it, but now I hate it. It's also clearly not good for me, as I spend the evenings watching 90s crime drama on ITV3, i.e. my gran's favourite TV channel. To add to this in a very unhelpful way, I'm INCREDIBLY hormonal at the moment, and consequently spend a lot of time listening to Rachmaninov and feeling like the world's about to end. Still, only two days left!

Spoke to my lovely friend Emily last night, who I haven't talked to in ages, and have found out that she's moving to Australia for a year. All of my friends are either moving abroad or having babies or getting married. I feel under pressure to do something life-changing and adult too, though I don't know what. Get a house rabbit? Go live in Slough? Clean the oven, maybe? There is a vague hint in the air that me and James might move house, but we're both such bottled-up weirdos we never approach the subject. Maybe this is what my life-changing event can be: changing myself. My heart is so far from my sleeve the sleeve is practically on another jumper. Maybe I could work on that.

Spent the day off work and in Grimsby visiting the lovely Zoe. It always feels a bit weird to write about seeing her as I know she's reading this, but needless to say it was a fantastic day and Zoe was as gorgeous and lovely as always. Grimsby also looked relatively normal in the sunshine. What wasn't great, however, was the total knobhead who was sat opposite me on the train and insisted on talking to me through the entire 90-minute journey. He wasted no time in telling me how rich and important he was, and how his stupid children went to boarding school and his wife had so much money she'd run out of room for all her shoes and handbags. I honestly could not have given less of a shit, and thought I was really being quite stand-offish and rude at times, but he was not to be deterred. The whole journey was just a total pain-fest.

Hideous day at work beckons tomorrow. Only the thought of Beer Night can get me through it. That and A Touch of Frost, followed by Rosemary and Thyme. God, I literally am my gran.

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