Year-long lapse
29.07.13, 9:22 pm

Man, it's been a whole year since I last wrote. That makes me feel kind've bad, though the whole reason I stopped writing was because I felt like I didn't have much to write about. This is where I'm currently at.

James and I have moved house. The whole experience was actually pretty stressful, and we had to go live in some old woman's attic for 3 weeks (don't ask), but we are officially in. The new house is amazing � big, amazing garden, working boiler, no hole in the roof. It didn't start off amazing, however, as James's parents descended a day after we'd got in, ostensibly to help but mostly to nosy around. They stayed for 4 days, and I spent most of the time wishing they'd leave so that me and James could have sex in every room in house, regardless of how unsexy it was (computer room sex? Has anyone actually done this? Let me know if so). James's mum also had an opinion on absolutely everything, and would pounce on me as soon as I got home from work and share them with me. This was a genuine conversation:

Jenny: Have you thought about where you're going to keep your ironing board?
Me: I thought we'd just hang it on the back of the downstairs toilet door or something.
Jenny: Oh, I don't think I'd put it there.
Me: Well happily it's not your house, so your opinion is irrelevant.

That last line may have only been said in my head. Oh, I feel a bit mean now, because they're both lovely, kind, wonderful people, and they were helpful with building furniture and stuff. It was just a little tricky, because I wanted to be with James on our own in our new house, and just enjoy it with him.

So, my friend Andy bought me back some delicious Mount Gay rum from Trinidad, as he was on a conference there, and me and James had some on Friday evening. Turns out that rum is basically truth serum, as just before we got going with some sexy time we suddenly get onto the topic of babies, and James comes out with how he thinks we should have one 'soon'. Oh God. I mean, I have been thinking about this too, but in a sort of one-or-two-years-away deal. James has suddenly gone properly broody though, and keeps asking me about baby names and pointing out tiny bambinos in the supermarket. I've told him that I want to get married first, which should hopefully buy me some time. I do actually want to get married first too; not in a weird 50s kind of way, but because it feels like less of a huge thing than making a new human, and I'd like to build up to it. The whole idea of having a baby also totally panics me because a) my heart will go MENTAL and I'll be sick with worry about heart attacks and b) what the hell happens to my career?

Speaking of my career, I've been doing a second-year degree module in statistics with the Open University over the past year, and have generally loved it (apart from occasional moments of hating it when deadlines loomed). Anyway, I got my final mark yesterday and it was 83%. I wish I was as good at science as I am at maths. Everyone keeps talking about how I should do a PhD, but I'd rather just read stats textbooks instead. I'd actually quite love to do a maths degree with the Open University, but it's really expensive and I'm not sure I could do it and hold down a job at the same time. And now I have to have a baby too � I mean, where does that fit in? I wish someone could tell me what to do with regards to my life; I wish they could just look into the future and tell me to just get on with doing a PhD, or get on with being a technician, or get on with doing a second degree, or get on with getting knocked up.

I have a hen do to go to on Saturday which I'm secretly dreading, which is awkward as it's for one of my most wonderful friends. I just find hen dos quite awkward, as I won't know hardly anyone, and I'm obsessing over whether the dress that I've bought is too formal or not formal enough, and James is no help at all as he thinks all dresses are brilliant. Also, I suddenly have a surprise trip to the dentist on Wednesday, which I've only just found out about. Oh God, I hope everything's going to be all right.

last - next