Nando's to the rescue
20.01.14, 3:07 pm

I�m currently doing a Dryathlon with some of my research group at work to raise money for Cancer Research UK, and am on day 20. I�d really like a frickin� beer now. To start off with it was really easy, because I�d drank so much over Christmas my liver was trying to disguise itself as a misplaced kidney. But now I�m fine again, and finding it very difficult to resist the siren call of the Lovely Bottle of Red Wine. Sometimes I worry that I�m vaguely alcoholic, but then I remember that life is too short and stressful to worry about boring things like that.

The solo work trip to Birmingham was mind-bendingly, face-numbingly dull. For two days, I sat in a tiny, hot, dark lead-lined room and changed samples every 12 minutes and contemplated smashing my head through the door a la The Shining. Anyway, it�s done now� or at least, until next month when I have to do it all over again. On the Wednesday evening I met up with Mel and dutifully trailed around several shops looking for purple bridesmaid dresses, all the time dreaming about the Nando�s she had promised me once we�d finished. My God, I love chicken. Anyway, the dress browsing was fine; I made myself extra enthusiastic to counter my natural laziness with regards to dresses, and it was just about believable. Some dresses were �maybe OK�, but I sensed even Mel�s heart wasn�t really in it. The call of the chicken was too strong.

So yes, a heavenly trip to the aforementioned Nando�s, where me and Mel turned to our favourite heart-to-heart topic of conversation: at what age do we need to have babies by, and how do we have one and not send our career prospects to Crap Land? I even got to say my favourite line of, �I know it�s not the man�s fault, but it�s all right for them as they can just have two weeks off and then go back to work and NOTHING CHANGES.� Apparently saying this particular sentence never gets boring, no matter how many times you say it. I then bored on about my heart palpitations some more, and then we tackled the weighty topic of, �How do you tell your neurotic mother not to come to the Hen Do?�, and then it was time for Mel to get her train. I went back to my Premier Inn and tried to ignore the weird noises coming from the shower.

Spent the vast majority of the weekend playing Grand Theft Auto 5, despite not being very good at it. Half the time I can�t even seem to do a simple right-hand turn without slamming into 900 lampposts. I also bought enough haggis to feed 16 people and the total cost was �15. Guess there�s not massive demand for lamb offal in the shape of a sausage. Anyway, just about set for Burns Night, where I somehow have to squash 16 people into my front room. Maybe they could help me play GTA 5.
If anyone is requiring some light relief, then please follow this link to read the 1-star reviews of Haribo sugarless gummy bears � I am currently in a slump at work, and it is cheering me up greatly.

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