Wedding news and birthday blues
22.04.15, 2:33 pm
5 months until the wedding and I’ve just remembered that we haven’t done anything about a florist yet. Are we screwed? Is 5 months somehow, insanely, not enough time to get various bunches of flowers booked in and organised? Honestly, wedding planning is constantly like this: sudden lurches of horror as you remember something you haven’t done. I have at least booked in an appointment to buy bridesmaid dresses. Just the one appointment, mind you, so it definitely has to happen and be a success. Now I just need to come up with some opinions on them. I wish you could just hire someone to make all of the decisions for you. Someone to say, ‘Right, you’re having a full-length blue dress with straps and a wrap-around thing. That’s £40, please.’
We’ve booked a car to take me to the wedding – it’s a Daimler V4 and looks frickin’ awesome. I think riding in it is genuinely one of the things I’m looking forward to most, even though trying to drive down Eccleshall Road on a Saturday afternoon will be slower going than an asthmatic earwig. I also need to ensure that I don’t drink too much of the free bubbly after the ceremony, as doing my wedding speech half-cut will definitely not improve things. Or maybe it will? Maybe I’m actually terrible at public speaking. Do you know the best place to test that theory? Yes, at your wedding reception!
The Humanist chick that is going to be giving our wedding ceremony came over the other weekend to say hello, and she made us talk about our relationship for 90 minutes. I have never seen James so squirmy – it was like he was sat on a porcupine. At one point she asked me how being with James made me feel, and my voice broke slightly as I talked about how me made me feel safe, because since my mum died I’ve always expected people not to stay for long, and I tend to not become too attached to people and places. This worries me a bit, because my number one goal is to NOT blub during the ceremony in front of 120 people and make an absolute dildo of myself. Argghh, why are feelings so tricksy?
James’ parents, my gran and my dad and Bloody Amanda met for the first time a couple of weekends ago. The actual event itself went OK, and was basically an hour and a half of slightly stilted chit-chat over a meal out. Before that though, was about 2 months of utter stress, as my dad initially agreed to the meet and then tried to get out of it at every turn, finally refusing to come and deciding that they’d ‘drop by’ en route to a holiday in Scotland and blaming the whole situation on me. We had an ENORMOUS argument about it, or rather 3 enormous arguments, and are still not really OK with each other. He makes me really tired and sad, but stupidly I still feel guilty when I don’t phone him for weeks and weeks.
It was my 30th birthday back in March. James got me, amongst other things, a PS4 because he’s a bloody good boy. The day was pretty fun, except I was kind’ve unwell and had real palpitation problems with my heart, so much so that I cried down the phone to James in the corridor outside the office at work and it was really embarrassing. No one saw me but it was still mega embarrassing, and not the most celebratory thing to be doing on your birthday. Anyway, I didn’t have an arrhythmia and die, which is the main thing! My dad didn’t seem to remember it was my 30th. See end of paragraph above.
No other news, because all that happens around is here wedding crap and family drama. Oh wait, at the weekend we planted some strawberries and some broad beans, and attached a hanging basket to the wall. Apart from that, nothing. Work time!
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