Wedding invites, taking over the entry like they did my Christmas
09.01.15, 11:27 am

I’m a total lazybones. I’m sorry!

Wedding news:

Wedding invites have been made over Christmas, and I’d be lying if I said they looked in any way as if a professional made them. They also took HOURS. Hours and hours of slicing up card (life fact: I can’t use a guillotine), punching out coloured hearts, snipping up ribbon, and then gluing the whole lot together whilst trying not to make a big sticky mess. Hours of trying to work out how to write the ‘request the pleasure of the company of…’ bit without mentioning Bloody Amanda in any way, because there is NO way that that moron is going on my invites. Hours of writing the ‘additional information’ bit and trying to ensure it all fitted on 1/3 of a sheet of A4, otherwise it wouldn’t fit in its little glued on pocket, and then being sabotaged by James’ mum insisting that we list a load of B&B places that no one’s going to stay in. A brief moment of earth-shattering, face-melting rage and despair when we realised we hadn’t made enough invites. And then hours of doing the whole thing again and banging out an extra 15 invites. They’re done now. James hasn’t written all of his because he is a lazy bum, but I’ve done all mine and they’re in the post. The hearts are already starting to peel off because I didn’t buy good enough glue but it doesn’t matter: invites have been ticked off the list.

We had a long, tedious semi-argument with James’ mum about the issue of wedding gifts. Before, James and I had chatted and decided that we were just going to say that we didn’t need any, and that people could send money to Bowel Cancer UK if they wanted to mark the occasion in some way. And then James’ mum started going on, all, ‘Oh, so when Auntie Liz rings up asking what she should buy you I’m going to have to deal with all the fallout and stress of it all’, yadda yadda yadda. It went on and on, and eventually we said that we’d make a separate list for James’ family so that they can buy us a load of stuff we don’t need. I just get so frustrated when we’ve decided on something and then other people are all, ‘Oh no, you can’t do that, you must do this’, especially when it’s on nonsense like presents. The problem I have is that James and I already have everything that we need, because we’ve been living together for years, and we have a lot of money compared to a lot of people in the world, and so I’d rather just give something to charity. And I KNOW that makes me sound like some syrupy, irritating martyr but I would genuinely just give a load of money to helping research into bowel cancer. I think it’s kind’ve sorted now, but at the time it was mega stressful. As was having someone saying, ‘Well, you need new plates, and those glasses you have are pretty tatty looking, as are those awful place mats’, like thanks very much, bro.

I have shown approximately 700 people the photo of me in the wedding dress but am still worried that it’s not good enough. I think I have to go back for another appointment soon though (not sure for what reason… maybe measurements? Or trying on bras with the dress? Or lessons on how to be better at planning a wedding?) so hopefully that’ll reassure me a bit. We also need to give formal notice at the Registry Office soon which is mildly exciting, particularly if it flushes out some mad ex-wife of James’ out of the woodwork that he’s forgotten to tell me about.

Life news:

I got the promotion! Somehow, SOMEHOW, my application was accepted and I got promoted, which means I now get to call myself a senior research technician and am paid a tiny bit more. Yay!

I have to go to another GODDAMN HORRIBLE HEN DO next weekend, why is God torturing me so much? This one is literally in the middle of nowhere and is costing a fortune, but I can’t not go because of the rules of friendship or whatever. Happily Mel is going too, so I’ll at least have an ally. I just want to sit in my house every single weekend and eat mini chocolate Lindt bears, why is that too much to ask?

I had gastritis again just before Christmas, which was hideous and screwed up life quite a bit. I also thought I was going to have a heart arrhythmia and die a few times from the resulting palpitations. Happily it cleared 2 days before Christmas, but not before I had to miss the Christmas party and spent 4 days eating nothing but soup.

Christmas was really fun, but it’s also lovely to be back at home and just hanging out with the boy again. I sense that next year we might have to have Christmas at our house and invite Dad and Bloody Amanda to come, which frankly may be the end of me. Still, happily that’s still 12 months away.

Currently off booze due to Christmas fun time, but may be stopping that tonight after the first week back at work. On Monday I was full of optimistic determination, but now I’m just picturing the lovely beers that are sat in the fridge.

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