Pregnancy poo sieves are apparently a thing
28.02.17, 2:39 pm

32 weeks pregnant now, and just back from my second growth scan – everything still looks good and Pommy still fits on all the growth curves. She’s absolutely massive on the screen now, which is a bit disconcerting from a giving-birth POV – I remember when she was just this vague bean shape with a flickering blob that was the heartbeat. However, she was head-down again, and seems to be constantly in that position, so I’m hopeful that she won’t be breech (you can tell her position at home from where the frequent hiccough battles come from. She seems to find hiccoughs infuriating and rumbles around furiously until they go – it’s the cutest thing). My MOT was also fine, so fingers crossed I can continue avoiding gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and the other raft of fun pregnancy conditions you can develop. Have to run off to the midwife soon to have my whooping cough vaccination, so it’s turning into a bit of a full-on Preggo Day.

Heart’s still rubbish, stomach’s still rubbish, my back hurts, I can’t sleep through the night and I feel like a lumbering unattractive barrel, but we’re nearing the end so it’s OK. Just 56 days to go, give or take. I am genuinely not worried about labour at all – my flippancy is possibly not the best attitude to have, as labour probably does need some considered thought, but I’m just so desperate for it all to be over. I mean, I’m sure it’ll be grim and painful and a slog, but at least then it’s done. It feels like the promise of the relief and release will be enough to carry me through.

Have started NCT classes, which are a bit mad. Everyone at them is lovely (though there’s one couple heavily into hypno-birth, which sounds a faint klaxon), but the instructor is just nuts. She’s incredibly abrupt and rude, and she hasn’t laughed once, despite there being some legit funny moments. I mean, the conversation about how you have to bring your own sieve to your water birth for fishing out stray poos can only be treated with so much seriousness. We’re kind of seeing the classes as an expensive way of making some new friends, because to be honest you can get 95% of your information from Google anyway.

Off to a pancake party tonight at Ju’s house with the rest of work – will try my best to stay awake until 10pm, though it’s a struggle. Lugging a 2kg bag of Pommy flour around wherever I go is getting a bit knackering. We were at a wedding this weekend and I barely managed to last until 10pm there either. Wedding itself was fine, though we knew hardly anyone and were sat on a table with a few oddballs. I managed a minor boogie though, and got to have 4 sips of champagne during the speeches. When Pommy finally arrives I am going to have the biggest vat of beer ever, I swear to God. And then absolutely beast it on the exercise bike.

We’ve built the cot, even though she won’t be sleeping in it for 6 months. It has safari animal bedding and a little safari animal mobile that plays a tune as it spins. We’ve also bought some weenie clothes and a little baby bath. It still feels a little like tempting fate, as there’s still 8 weeks to go, but equally it feels like we can’t wait anymore as there’s a chance she may come prematurely. Getting close now – not much longer to go! And I’d better go get jabbed at the midwife’s.

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