Chez Sheffield Nativity
08.12.05, 4:05 pm

Just had another dance to Do Your Thing to relieve the stress of� well nothing. Becky got to hear me singing, �DO YOUR THING! MAKE MY BODY SIIING!� in the sexiest voice I could manage, followed by *thump* *thump* *thump*, which was me leaping onto my bed and prancing up and down it doing a dance. I then jumped down when the chorus came round again and sang it to myself in the mirror. With the new hat, obviously. I swear I was never this lively pre-hypno; it does seem to be doing wonders. We should all dance more often; it seriously makes the world go round.

After my dancing I opened my door to go downstairs and check for the post and did the most painful thing ever. Bearing in mind that I�m due soon too, I walked straight into the drying rack in mine and Becky�s corridor and skewered one of my boobs on the sticking out arm thing. Man that hurt.

I love how everyone�s getting involved in the War of the Hats� I feel I need to point out that it was me who started this ridiculous thing in the first place. Still, it�s here to stay now, and hell will freeze over before I admit defeat, even if Zoe did send me an amazing Spam hat to make it 5-5 last night. On a side note, I actually like Spam. We had a huge debate last year as to the merits of Spam, ever since Michelle bought a tin of it and then forgot about it. Eventually we opened it and made everyone try a bit, and they still hate it now and Michelle and me had to eat a whole tin�s worth over the weekend. That was a pointless story but still, Spam rules!

I bought some new guitar strings off Ebay the other day, and they came this morning. Consequently, I�ve just re-strung Ricardo. Restringing always unnerves me, because I always have a vision in my head of the top string suddenly breaking and snapping into my face and taking my eye out. I feel I need to explain the name � it�s not because I secretly dream of sleazy Latin lovers, it�s named after the guy who was in Sunset Beach. In first year Hannah and me used to have many rambling conversations about how absolutely fantastic Sunset Beach was, which often included a game of Remember As Many Character Names As You Can. Soul-destroyingly boring for anyone else in the vicinity. Well, one particular night, whilst stupidly drunk, we remembered Ricardo (my dad used to nickname him Retardo), with his huge sideburns and unfaithful wife and crazy mother, and I leaned drunkenly to the side, surveyed my guitar propped against the wall and said, �Awww! I�m calling my guitar Ricardo! It�s the best name ever, and it can be a personal tribute! My personal tribute to Ricardo, Sunset Beach police sensation!� Indeed, Holly, you big foolish fool. Remember, when I�m drunk EVERYTHING seems like the best idea ever. Anyway, that�s where the name comes from.

I�m restringing it because Michelle has had the �fantastic� idea of us (ie. the housekids) doing some kind of carol concert, with the Nativity story thrown in too. I believe it�s being videoed too, which is vaguely worrying. More worryingly, she wanted to invite our friends along to watch it (�Hey, Paddy! Object of my affections! Fancy coming along to my house to watch me perform the Nativity and sing along to Jingle Bells and make a general tit out of myself? Maybe you could hold the video camera so that even more people can witness the general nob jockery!�), but that soon got vetoed. Becky has given me a load of carol books, and I was trying the chords out last night. The chords are fine, but they seem to follow Mariah Carey�s rule of thumb: why sing one note when fifteen will do! I�d like to point out that we�re doing the Nativity solely because Vicky�s never been in one ever, and this is the last chance she�ll ever get. Plus I get to wear a hat made out of a tea towel.

I was always the narrator in school plays because I was the best reader in my class, and so have been lumbered with the same job in Chez Sheffield Nativity, along with Hannah. Becky�s writing the actual story for us, so you can bet your bottom dollar it�s going to be nothing but bible quotes. This means I get to read things like, �And lo! An angel of the Lord appeared before them!� in my best newsreader voice. It doesn�t help that Hannah is incredibly well spoken, and will completely show me up. Still, she won�t get to wear a tea towel hat.

I totally nobbed up my stats exam this afternoon, but talking about that�s boring. Instead I shall go annoy Becky until teatime. She loves it really.

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