Orange
30.11.05, 5:40 pm

My sister's just rang and told me that my orange cat, Leo, my beautiful gorgeous orange man, has died. Looks like a heart attack or a stroke, something quick anyway. He was only five, and used to sit on my chest and purr whenever I went home. It's really quite depressing.

And I know he's just a cat, but he's my cat, my little orange.

Yeah, so my cat's died. When my sister told me this morning I was very much, "Really? But why? Oh... well... that's quite depressing." Oh, you think?! My sister sounded pretty upset, and I must've sounded like I didn't really care. I always do that with bad news.

I do care though, a lot. I don't do sad very well, I always just go angry instead. My cat plus my new printer fucking me off, and the fact that stuff isn't printing properly off the uni website due to it being shit, has wound me into the angriest person in the world. I think I'm hormonal too.

I'm a little concerned, because I've been ranting at various things over the course of the afternoon and I'm still not any calmer. About five minutes ago I got up, shouted swear words at my computer, kicked it, turned around and kicked my door, and then leaned against it and gritted my teeth to stop myself from crying, because I hate losing control and I very, very rarely cry, and I wasn't about to start doing it then.

Blatantly what is going to happen is that someone's going to piss me off tonight, I'm going to have a huge rant at them and then have a breakdown. Fucking fantastic. I just want my cat back, because he's beautiful and I love him lots. I didn't even get to see him because I'm in bastarding Sheffield. I know I've shown this picture before, but I'm showing it again now because he's gorgeous.

Going to go have some tea or kick an inanimate object or finish off some work or something.

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