This love doesn't know it is love
27.02.06, 10:35 pm

Have to admit that my current diet is not the best that it�s been. Since Michelle�s birthday on Saturday the kitchen is full of fun things, and just now I�ve gone downstairs and snuck a second piece of cake back up to my room, as well as as many Quality Streets from the tin that I could cram into my pocket. With the Quality Streets, well, I�m only making myself a little hoard for the night. You�ve got to get in there quick because there�s 7 of us, plus Michelle�s family have already eaten all the green triangles and no one likes the majority of what�s left, i.e. evil blue coconut ones. I robbed all the Orange Creams and Toffee Pennies.

Sunday night I got back from Manchester, after having to fanny around on a coach from bloody Stockport for an hour and a fricking half. I swear the coach people picked a route that included as many dead end hellhole towns as was possible. What�s wrong with the M1? Anyway, I got home to a completely empty house, as all the kids had decided to bugger off to Weatherspoons. Except they rang me from there, and I got to have a 15 minute conversation with a very drunk Michelle, who repeated the same thing about three times.

Once they got back they crashed into my room, and Michelle insisted on telling us a very long, apparently traditional Mauritian story that had been passed down her family through the ages. Becky got her video camera out and videoed her telling us this story whilst rocking backwards and forwards on my bed and waving a cup of tea around. I swear it took a good twenty minutes. Every now and again Michelle says into the camera, �But that�s not the end of the story!�, and unfortunately the camera picked up me shouting �Nooooo!� off-screen. Fortunately she somehow didn�t hear me though.. Michelle�s a very cute drunk; after the story she flopped back onto my bed and announced, �I love you, Holly. Aww you�re so so lovely�. Get in!

We did a house interview with Becky a little while ago, as part of her dissertation on recycling. I�m not the best recycler in the world, for the record. She recorded it all as she has to transcribe it word for word, and I�ve just nipped next door and read over the stuff she�s already transcribed. My god, I come out with the nobbiest things ever sometimes. Seriously, why don�t I talk like an adult? I came out with stuff like, �Yeah well in, I like recycle plastic milk cartons all the time� and �Yeah, you and me drove around with that box of bottles for years, but no one was open so we had to come back and dump it in the garden� so I do try to recycle but it just kicks me in the ass.� This interview is going in Becky�s incredibly important dissertation that�s going to be read by lots of really intelligent people, and all I did was go rambling on with a completely irrelevant story about people dumping old fridges in landfills and children getting shut inside them and not being able to get out and suffocating. And I said the phrase �fannying around�. Stupid stupid moron.

Anyway. Results weren�t actually released today, although I�m assuming that�s kind�ve obvious with me having not mentioned them until now. They�re going to be out �towards the end of the week�, which is just pissing fantastic. I�d quite like them now, thanks. So, after going into Uni for nine this morning, me and Paddy went and had two cups of coffee in the Union, before deciding to go back to mine and watch This Morning until it was time for our 12 o�clock lecture. Spending the whole morning with Paddy on my own was just� really really lovely. I know I really bang on about him, but he takes up a lot of my thoughts. And I probably shouldn�t write about it, because the Paddy situation is actually making me feel quite miserable tonight, most likely because we spent so much time together. My god, I�m actually getting the urge to cry. I shall grit my teeth and persevere.

We were talking about teeth for some reason (think it was a link-on from talking about Ten Years Younger), and I said something like, �Yeah, I think if you had crap teeth you�d always be really self conscious. I�m so glad I never had to wear a brace� and he replied with, �Really? I�d always assumed that you�d had a brace because your teeth are perfect.� Man, I�ll take any compliment I can get. Plus he�d remembered what my teeth looked like.

After the teeth comment, we were lying on the sofas watching the stupid foot reading segment on This Morning, and I could half see him in the corner of my eye. I suddenly had a gut wrenching thought of, �Man, you�re completely in love with him and he probably has no idea. This is love and you�re just stuck with being friends, and you can�t do anything about it at all. He probably doesn�t even feel the same way back either; you�re probably just completely fooling yourself.�

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