And I don't want the world to see me
21.04.06, 9:33 am

I�m back in chez Sheffield and it is spring, baby. Wednesday was sunny and warm, and the park by my house featured both daffodils and cherry blossom, AND there was a man cutting the grass. I love spring with a passion, mainly because Sheffield does such a good winter. However, since Wednesday it�s been grey and vaguely rainy, so that�s possibly all the spring Sheffield�s entitled to.

Finally succumbed and went to the doctors this morning to go back on the Pill. I can�t handle the stupid irregularity of my body; I randomly came on last night after being a month overdue and doing the hormonal thing about a fortnight ago. Anyway, I saw some locum, who was a really nice guy and we talked about The Jeremy Kyle Show for a while, but he took my blood pressure twice and it was pissing tight. And it was slightly high, probably because I�d had to sit in the waiting room for half an hour previously thinking about how much I hate having my blood pressure taken. My anxiety gig loves it being slightly high; I do not. Go figure.

Thursday was the day Lisa came up with her girlfriend, Linda. We were originally going to go look around potential castles for next year, but it�s apparently best to leave it till June time, so we spent the day eating and boozing it up on West Street with Suzy and Fay, who�s one of Lisa�s old housemates. Fay isn�t my most favourite person in the whole world, but she was actually pretty sociable. Oh, and I didn�t personally booze it up, due to my excessive paracetamol, ibuprofen and Sudafed taking in the morning to try and cure a bastarding sinus headache. My liver has the biggest amount of love for me ever, despite now probably being the size of a dwarf walnut.

After the drinking was complete, and the sodding headache finally went, we (minus Fay) went back to my house and played Aladdin on my Mega Drive � it�s a me and Lisa tradition � before finishing the day with a group sing-along avec the guitar. It was really nice, for want of a better word. One of those days where you really appreciate what you�ve got, but inevitably think about what you haven�t got.

The house is no longer empty, as Michelle turned up Wednesday evening out of the blue. She�s done absolutely no work all Easter, and has something like 11,000 words to write by next Friday or something, so I haven�t seen her around a great deal. Not solely because she�s working (kind�ve) hard either, but also because Michelle has to have at least twelve hours sleep a night, and didn�t emerge from her room yesterday until one pm. And then straight after her shower went off to Interval to meet some friends, saying something about �going to the library� after. As if; that�s the kind of lie I tell Mel to make myself feel better.

Becky sent me a card the other day, which I got Tuesday night as I got back to chez Sheffield. She�s so very massively lovely; it reads as follows: Hey Hol, thought I�d send a little card to say hello. Was really nice to see you t�other day, I hope you�re feeling a little better now you�re back in Shef? Just wanted to let you know I�m thinking/praying about you (Ha! She totally knows what a complete agnostic prayer-phobe I am) because I value your friendship and don�t like hearing that you�re feeling down. I�ll make sure we do lots of fun stuff when I get back to Shef � determined to make this last term a good one. I shall see you on Fri m�dear, don�t work too hard! Lots of love, Becky xxx

I�m sorry it�s been a while since I last wrote. If I�m totally honest, and I always try to be honest in this thing if nothing else, I�ve been kind�ve thinking about stopping writing altogether. Huh, I never thought I�d say that. But yeah, I�ve been thinking about stopping, because� well, there are reasons. I haven�t really decided yet. And I can�t think of a neat way of wrapping up this entry now that I�ve written that, so I�ll just leave it here. I�ve got to go up to Uni and get some fascinating Cancer Biology work done.

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