Then out of nowhere, put me right back there
26.06.06, 11:17 pm
Okay, hands up who wants to see my amazing revamped CV. Jesus, don�t all rush at once! I spent 45 minutes on the phone to my sister this morning, going through my CV and covering letter for a job I�ll get to in a minute that�s bound to fascinate you all. Anyway, consequently my CV is pretty damn good, despite having to show my rubbishy A Levels that still make me cringe to look at. It kind�ve says something when my A Level Maths result is one of my better achievements. The covering letter is a masterpiece also, as it totally bigs me up but in a really modest way, but I�m still gutted that my sister wouldn�t let me use the word �honed� and I had to settle for �developed� instead, as in �This allowed me to build on the communication and presentation skills already developed as part of my degree�. That�s right, buzzword bollocks all the way baby!
The job is for a research assistant in the Nephrology Department, looking at some inherited kidney disease. I know you�re all totally jealous of my potential job. Kidneys is where it�s at, y�all. Anyway, fingers crossed that I get an interview; I should know pretty soon as closing date�s this Friday. Which brings me to horrible news.
Me and Lisa are currently applying for a lovely apartment up near Walkley (God, I am such a stalker-magnet and I bring it all on myself� I�ll be posting my phone number next. Nigel - call me!) and the estate agent is processing our applications and doing credit cheques and all sorts of shit, so hopefully we�ll get it. However, it�s going to take at least a week to do the processing, and then longer to sign contracts and pay deposits and stuff, and so unfortunately I�m going to have to go home to Manchester for a while, as my contract on the current house runs out on Friday. It�s the most depressing thing ever, and my dad is going to be so pissed off that he�ll have to come take all my stuff back to Manc, and then take it down to Sheffield again on a separate trip. He was pissed off when I was hoping to just get him to come down and move it over to the new place in one trip, and tried the whole, �Can�t you get a taxi?� thing that he attempted last year. You know, because the entirety of my belongings is going to fit so very snugly in the boot of one taxi. Who does he think I am, Thumbelina? Maybe he thinks I�m some smelly hobo who just has the one dirty carrier bag containing some smack and a thermos. Sorry, Dad, but I�m a BSc Hons graduate and will soon have the piece of paper to prove it. And thanks for your wonderful comment the other day when you expressed surprise that I was even going to my Graduation ceremony. I bet you were ecstatic to learn that I got you a ticket, too. And we don�t get a local Sheffield celebrity like some departments do, i.e. Sean Bean or Eddie Izzard; we get someone totally rubbish like the local vet, so HA!
But yes, it�s horrifically depressing. I get sick of home after a day, and now I�m going to have to stay there for at least a week. I�m going to be so bored it�s untrue, and seriously, if anyone can save me from this boredom then PLEASE DO IT. I�ll soon be ironing curtains and alphabetising the shower gels in an attempt to stop my brain from imploding, and no one wants that. Because you know I�ll just bore you all to death with detailed entries about it.
MI isn�t so bad today, and as a result I�m feeling less down. I�m afraid I�m just a bit worn down by everything, and I would explain what �everything� is but it�d take about four pages and people clearly have better things to do than read through all that bollocks. Suffice to say that sometimes I feel extra crap and come on here and whine about it all, when really I don�t have much right to because at least I don�t have leprosy or only one leg or have people throw things at me in the street because they hate me so much. Most of the time I just need a nice cup of tea and someone or something to make me laugh.
Went and met Paddy for a coffee down in town this evening, once he�d finished work. My MP3 player thought it�d be hilarious to play Your House by Jimmy Eat World as I walked into the coffee place and saw him, because it knows that that�s the song I associate with him and all the feelings surrounding the situation. It was massively lovely to see him, and I got to talk to him about all the things on my mind and he made me feel better like he always does. I know I shouldn�t, but I can�t help it. I know he likes me� I saw the look on his face when he first saw me. And okay, I tried to make it look less like I�d just been dug up than usual, but again, I can�t help it. I still like him. I�d write that I still love him but it�s too painful. I thought that telling him about how I feel and getting The Rejection would let me move on, but it doesn�t seem to be happening. Not when he looks at me with that smile on his face.
I�m doing the CV-handing-in thing at the Recruitment Agencies thing tomorrow, not that I�m hopeful because apparently the whole world is doing the same thing, and he said that if I was in town around 12ish to let him know and we could maybe go for lunch somewhere. I already know that I�ll be timing things so that I�m in town for 12. For the third time, I can�t help it. I know that I'm doing everything all wrong, and that I need to stop myself from sliding backwards and feeling wrong feelings, and that this is only going to make things harder and more painful. It's just spending time with him makes life better and I don�t want to have to give that up.
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