update
9th December 2003, 2:28 pm

god, i'm sorry it's been so long since i last wrote. have been horrifically busy all week, plus there's been angst too.

basically, last friday i finally snapped from lindz's dad being terminal, and the simularities to my mum, and had a bit of a weird session, with shaking and badness. didn't actually cry, but then we can't ask for miracles. i told matt about it and he was fantastic, he was fantastic all weekend, telling people i didn't want to go out, and ringing me every two hours to check on me, bless him. he also told mel, who was equally fantastic, so i think i've done exceptionally well friends-wise in sorby. i'm feeling better now though, i guess it just shows how much my past does still affect me.

there was also angst with paddy, in that he's been spending hardly any time with me. so we met up for a drink last night and had a huge talk, and he apologised and told me that he had no money, but had been too embarrassed to tell me, and i told him about how insecure i'd been feeling. it was a fantastic night, by the end i was feeling on top of the world (happiness + drunkeness = euphoria). it took us ten minutes to say goodbye, as neither of us wanted to leave, and i'm seeing him either tonight or tomorrow. i also think i might be starting to fall in love...

came home last night, ecstatic, and told all g floor exactly that. honestly, i wouldn't shut up about him, i think everyone was bored senseless. emily then came home, very drunk and very upset, as some lads had followed her home and really scared her, so me, mel and hannah stayed up till gone two calming her down. she seems okay today, kind've dazed... i don't think she really remembers much.

going to have to go, as the computer room is highly oppressive, cold and boring. just finished copying down my APS114 notes (evolution) so will go back upstairs and watch Murder She Wrote

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