trumpets and fireworks
1st January 2005, 7:52 pm

cue the trumpet fanfare, it's the new year. i'd play one myself but i never actually owned my own trumpet, it always belonged to the school. saying that, the one i had for the first 3 years was so crap that you couldn't actually tune it, because the tuning slide was jammed all the way in. then i think i put a small dent in it (to go with all the other dents and scratches it already had), and my teacher gave me shit about getting it fixed. my mum had just died, and my dad went into school without telling me and talked to the deputy head about it, mr foster. next music lesson i was given one of the brand new trumpets that the school had just ordered, and my untunable dented one was given to some first year. wow, i'd totally forgotten about that before i started banging on about fanfares. it was a lovely trumpet too, and i got quite good on it, but i'm still not sure how i feel about them giving me a new trumpet just because my mum had died.

anyway, back to the present day. my new year was spent indoors with my dad, as i have no friends up here, and couldn't have left my dad in on his own even if i did. we watched jools holland and drank red wine... if i'm totally honest i felt quite depressed for most of it, though i'm not sure why. it felt like a mood-swingy hormone type depressed. at midnight we toasted in the new year, and i stood in the front door and watched the fireworks until the neighbours across the road started setting them off, wherein i got scared by the very loud bangs and took refuge inside again.

done a lot of revision today, and feeling quite smug about it. nutrition and metabolism is officially one of the most pointless things i have to learn about in my degree, right after the whole of BMS215 Cell Signalling. there's an hour long CSI on tonight, which i'm planning on watching, and then i might finish my notes on hormones.

i revised pregnancy today, and can confirm that i am NEVER going to be giving birth in my lifetime. the list of associated ailments and symptoms are just too gross. i also looked at so many pictures of placentas that they're now engrained on my memory, along with the picture of richard's pierced penis that he sent vicky, and which then spread through our house via msn like wildfire. i think the picture's still on my computer somewhere, but i shan't be searching for it anytime soon.

i miss my friends so much. it's really quite lonely up here.

okay, resolutions for 2005. i'm going to, or at least try to: get uni counselling to deal with bernie dying properly, revise really hard for my exams, try my damnest to get a summer placement at sheffield, not sing so loudly when i wash up, as i just know everyone finds it irritating, go to fuzz more often, go to more lectures, continue going to the gym, spend as much time as possible with my friends, not be so moody, and bitch less when i am moody, make becky feel more comfortable about living with us and try and show my feelings more.

just remembered that i haven't taken my pill for today. better go do that, as i'm trying to get my hormones back to normal, not screw them up again.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY, I HOPE 2005 BRINGS KITTENS TO ALL OF YOU.

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