friends
29th January 2005, 9:46 pm

god i'm so tired right now; i'm thinking about turning in, and getting up early tomorrow to commence revision. BMS216 Cellular Homeostasis seems easier than cell signalling, but only just. hopefully this exam won't be such a disaster.

starting to feel dizzy, and getting stabbing pains in my ears. lucky me, another ear infection. that or the original one i had never really left. at the moment i'm dosed up on paracetamol and sudafed, so that should ease the situation.

mel arrived back this afternoon - she's a lort more stressed about her exams than last year, to the extent that she went to see the doctor, and he's put her on some beta-blockers for the time being. she's hardly eating, cos it makes her feel sick, and has lost about a stone in weight. seeing as mel only weighed 8 and a half stone before, this isn't a good thing. so at the moment i'm keeping an eye on her, and trying to get her to eat little and often. once her exams are out the way she should put some weight back on, i just don't want her collapsing all over the place in the meantime.

i talked to hannah about the counselling session tonight, when we were both leaning against the radiator after tea, and mel and em had gone upstairs. my counsellor said that i'm going to need to have a "support person" at home, for when we start to talk about the upsetting stuff, because i'll still probably be a mess when i get back to the house, and hannah said that she'd be happy to be that person. only hannah and vicky know about any of it in this house, and hannah's had a lot of stuff to deal with regarding her suicidal sister in the past, so she seems to know what i'm talking about, and how home life can affect everything that you do. it just feels easy talking to her, and it's not like i have to begin at the beginning with regards to why i've started counselling. plus i don't think she'd find anything that i said stupid.

really scared about the next counselling session, even though it's a while away yet.

we have hardly any food in the house, so i bought yet another burger for my lunch. shut up, i don't care.

richard's back tomorrow too - i can't allow myself to get too wrapped up in his problems, worried as i am about him. between me, my exams, mel and richard, i just don't have enough worry to go around. it will be lovely to see him again though, and to give him a big hug.

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