happy hormones
5th February 2005, 12:05 pm

the happy hormones are back. even though my actual sodding period hasn't turned up, the pissing happy hormones always arrive regardless. i went to the gym yesterday for the first time in about three months, and came out in the best mood ever. seriously, i was so proud cos my SEH kicked off in the gym and i managed to ignore it and not let it bug me. my endorphins were having a party in my body, and everything was great.

about 6 hours later, sat in my house, i spiralled down to be in the most depressed of depressed moods ever. that fucking mood is still here. i'm trying to find the loudest, most obnixious music i own to play... except i can't now, cos mel's just come back upstairs, and it'll piss her off.

this mood i'm in means that i can't have a normal conversation with anybody, because even the act of forming a reply makes me angry.

dave came round last night, for the first time in ages. it was lovely seeing him, bar my depressed mood state. i wanted to start going to the gym again with him, it was kind've going to be our thing, but i can't really, because he now goes at 8am on the days he does go with matt. matt is like a disease, he infects everything and taints it. i can go at the weekends with dave, it seems. we're going in about half an hour, hopefully that'll calm my rage somewhat.

heh richard has just made me laugh though, bless him. he started asking me about seafood, randomly, only he spelt mussels as muscles.

i'm playing N.E.R.D. regardless of mel... it appears to be making me feel better. i've also eaten a chocolate doughut though, so it's possibly because of that instead.

think i might watch some buffy when i get back. the whole house is gross and manky, but my room has just been tidied - finally had enough of my squallor on wednesday night - so i think i'll camp out here for the rest of the afternoon. or at least until the rest of the house is back - there's currently only me, mel and hannah living here. it's kind've lonely actually.

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