good thing, bad thing
3rd May 2005, 10:09 am

Okay, so I've already done a good thing and a stupid thing so far today. The good thing first:

I went to dissection at 9am - formaldehyde really doesn't smell any better first thing in the morning. Peppy Kath brought out a couple of wet specimens of the head, and after the initial ming factor I started getting used to them. Yes, they were gross, and thought trains like "That's someone's head, and they've actually cut it off and sat it on this tray, and those bits hanging off it are real muscles, and they're all raggedy so there's pieces missing... yeah, pieces of this person's body are knocking around in a bucket somewhere" kept trying to force themselves to the front of my brain, but I managed to dismiss them every time and get on with things. Peppy Kath then brought out the other two wet specimens out that they owned, and now that I've seen them all (and know what to expect in the exam) I definately feel better. I'm going to go to dissection this afternoon too, just so I get used to seeing them before the exam.

After dissection I went over to the union shop to buy some batteries for my minidisk player, and this is where the stupid thing happened: I also went and bought some Marlboro Lights. Why, I have no idea at all... I haven't smoked in forever and a day, but I found myself asking the woman for 10 Marlboro Lights like I was a regular smoker still. Maybe I'm subconsciously expecting counselling (I have it in under an hour) to be really hard this week, or maybe I'm just a stupid twat. I don't know if I'm going to smoke them or not... I hope I don't, but there's no denying that they help when I'm stressed.

I was going to go to the gym this afternoon, but now I'm going to dissection that plan's kind've scuppered. Hopefully going for a drink with Paddy tonight, seeing as I haven't seen him in forever, let alone talked to him.

Got a lot of work done yesterday, so very smug in that respect. I've finally conquered Chapter 2 of Development of the Nervous System - I made 3,081 words of notes. Go team me! Spent the rest of yesterday learning Ben Folds Five - Brick on my accoustic... think it's starting to come together.

It's now been over two weeks since my dad spoke to me. I'm determined not to give in and ring him, and yes I'm aware I'm being a complete child about this whole issue.

I managed to get some sleep both Sunday night and Monday night, so am not feeling depressed anymore. I hope counselling won't bring me right back down again, and I really hope it's not boiling hot in there like it usually is, because all that happens then is that I drink my water really quickly in order to cool down, and then have nothing to twiddle with when the questions get tough. Maybe I'll be obnoxious and crack my knuckles or something instead.

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