I'm going to talk about snow too
09.02.07, 10:12 pm

My my. After moaning to all and sundry about the pathetic centimetre of snow that we received on Thursday, Sheffield goes and does me proud today (that's the car park of my flat, by the way). Despite everyone laughing at me whenever I put it on, I have been wearing the Hat of Lesbianism out and about, because the presence of snow is the only time I allow myself to wear it in public. Only when the snow is falling from the sky however, because when even your boy can�t tell you that you look feminine without bursting into uncontrollable laughter, you know you�re not doing yourself any fashion favours.

Today was the most unproductive day at work ever. My list of activities goes as follows:

10.27am: Arrive at work in ridiculous clothes combination, owing to extreme temperature changes between outside hospital and inside hospital.
10.29am: Arrive at lab and say hello to Indie Chick, Mini Boss, Dr Bone and random stent visitors.
10.34am: Receive coffee break call from main lab; go down to canteen with Indie Chick and PhD Misshapen Head. Ignore PhD Misshapen Head due to his annoying voice.
11.00am: Go back up to lab with Indie Chick. Go for a wee.
11.08am: Go across the road to Out-Patients Dept with Indie Chick to get money out of cash point. Shout abuse at cash point for having no ten pound notes. Return to hospital, go to shop and buy stamps and Bourneville chocolate. Buy Indie Chick a Toffee Crisp. Go to card shop and buy birthday card for grandmother.
11.27am: Eat chocolate on walk back to lab.
11.32am: Arrive at lab; have a sit down. Check both email accounts. Check Facebook covertly. Check progress of new wisdom tooth with tongue and finger.
11.42am: Fill out grandmother�s card and email sister requesting grandmother�s postal address. Fill out birthday cards for staff with upcoming birthdays. Load up random spreadsheet in background as cover.
11.50am: Feel bad � go over and talk to Dr Bone about state of current project whilst stent people are absent. Sidle away once run out of things to say and bored of nodding.
12.00pm: Sit on chair by Indie Chick and watch her cutting sections. Talk about total random crap. Check wisdom tooth again. Realise trainers have hole in sole. Poke with fingernail and make worse.
12:20pm: Dr Bone and stent people vanish. Feel very guilty and set up a batch run on computer. Poke a couple of samples with a pair of tweezers.
12:30pm: Check email again. Write grandmother�s address on card.
12:35pm: Go for lunch with Indie Chick and Mini Boss.
12:55pm: Return to lab. Go for another wee. Pick up notebook and pen and get lift up to F Floor.
13:00pm: Sit at back of lecture theatre and prepare to listen to seminar speaker. Instead of actually listening, draw a variety of 3D letters and shapes on notebook, colour in edges and fight the urge to close eyes. Consider feigning illness and walking out. Consider throwing pen at seminar speaker. Consider playing the Who D'ya Think's The Best At Sex In This Room game with self in head.
13:45pm: Have scribbled written conversation with Indie Chick around doodles. Watch other staff members slowly nod off.
14:05pm: Return to lab. Put on scarf and coat. Go home.

This is a transcript of the scribbled conversation, clearly showing us as the up-and-coming research scientists that we both are:

Indie Chick: Can we move along please �cause there�s a mushroom head in way?
Me: You seriously want me to move along?
Indie Chick: Nah. It�s never ending. We�ll be 90 when we leave.
*later*
Indie Chick: I thought that was the end!
Me: I can�t stay awake � this is really hard.
Indie Chick: It started out okay � then he carried on� and on�
Me: I�m cold too.
Indie Chick: Yep me too.
*later*
Indie Chick: He�s surely over time now?
Me: I was just thinking that. I�m so bored.
Indie Chick: Think Sue�s asleep.
Me: Do you like my pattern? (arrow)
Indie Chick: Very pretty, you should tattoo it on Dr Dickhead�s bald spot for asking questions.
*later*
Me: The guy in front in the fleece is asleep � well he was.
Indie Chick: Mini Boss bored too.
Me: OH FOR FUCK�S SAKE. I don�t care about his stupid radioactive beads.
Indie Chick: Poor man, and he�s so excited about them too. Bet he dreams of beads.
Me: He probably has a pet bead.
Indie Chick: Called Beady.

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