'Cause you're so great and I love you
15.05.07, 6:02 pm

I should have written this yesterday, as I was in and had the time to actually attempt to be engaging, but I didn�t because I had a cracking headache coupled with nausea and wasn�t feeling particularly insightful. So instead Lisa and I watched old Bad Girls episodes and talked about the Old Days. It crashed home the fact that I am now really quite old.

Anyway, on with current events. Life is really quite mundane at the moment, and I don�t really know what to write about. The weekend was a bit of a washout due to the rubbish weather, and James and I spent Saturday night playing Scrabble and watching Eurovision. It has to be said that I am still ridiculously competitive and a bit of a bad loser, and came close to throwing a strop when he put down some z-and-x containing word that I�d never heard of on the triple word square and scored about 9 million. Eurovision itself was truly bizarre. James thought Russia was good but I think he just fancied the chicks in it.

Saturday morning was Tai Chi, which I�m really pretty kick at now, but I did too much and was tired on Sunday. We were also both a bit grumpy and cabin feverish. God, the weekend really was a total non-event. The boy bought me flowers though, so yay! He also bought me a new kettle, but that doesn�t seem like an exciting enough gift to report. Except I just did, but whatever.

Work can be summed up by this conversation at lunch today:

Me: We can�t sit and read Good Housekeeping together � we�ll look old and housewifeish.
Indie Chick: Well I needed change for the tram, and I don�t buy those crap women�s magazines because I�m sorry but I don�t care about what Britney�s wig is doing today.
Me: Am I too boring to just sit and talk to then?
Indie Chick: Well we�ll only end up moaning about how boring work is at the moment, so this way we can moan together about something new.
Me:*pause* I like that cushion.

And that�s pretty much it, with life just ticking on as it always does. The ME�s not great at the moment, but I guess it can�t always be good. And so to fill up the rest of the entry, here are some thoughts and feelings and stuff. I know - I can�t wait either!

Annoyingly, I�m sat prepared to let all my thoughts and feelings to just come pouring out and nothing is happening. Not because I�m a robot (contrary to what some people might think) but because I can�t quite pin down my mood. I�ve been a bit pissed off for about a week now, for reasons that are not really known. I think it�s due to me having to start thinking about where I�m going to live next year, plus being sick of being poor, plus being sick of being tired, plus missing my friends that are scattered across the country, plus sick of the rain. Don�t get me wrong, it�s bloody fantastic that the ME isn�t as bad as it was, but I�m now getting greedy and wanting myself to get even better, when all that seems to have happened is that I�ve plateaued again.

Think I�m going to go down to Notts this weekend to visit my gran, as she�s all miserable and I feel hideously guilty about it. Reason? Well, my uncle is the biggest dickhead to ever walk the earth (I can�t stand him) and never goes to visit her, it wouldn�t occur to my dad to visit her and he doesn�t want to anyway, my sister�s in France and thus cannot, and so it falls on me to go see her and cheer her up. And because I don�t do it as often as I want to/should, I feel very guilty. I feel guilty about the smallest things, and so this is full on skin-crawling guilt. Because she�s all sad and sick of life and I don�t visit very often.

To finish on a less depressing note, me and this boy�

last - next