Technicians' tea room
21.05.07, 8:33 pm

I�ve just realised that this entry is about 1000 words long. I am so very sorry.

Technicians Away Day was the afternoon of last Thursday. Originally this was going to be a day of semi-fun, i.e. some activity that involves team building, introducing yourself three thousand times over and a lot of polite smiling. However, some of the nobcakes that constitute technical staff flatly refused anything that involved getting away from work, because they hate other people, they hate moving around and they especially hate fun. So instead we all traipsed down to Firth Hall (most attractive university building and consequently plastered all over uni propaganda, despite being used for zero uni stuff) and had a three-hour Q&A session and a lame buffet. It was beyond tedious, especially as the nobcakes decided to spend hours moaning about the fact that there�s no longer a tearoom for technicians (last sighting of said tearoom approx. June 1994).

I thought I�d start the entry with a bit of banality as I have four important events to discuss: two good and two bad. I�d also like to make a record of the fact that I went to see my gran this weekend, who seems to be doing a little better, and discovered that my uncle hasn�t been to see her for at least six weeks. The guy is such a complete twat, for reasons too numerous to number, but one big one is that he fell out with my mum over something trivial just before she got very ill, and then didn�t apologise before she died. He also won�t even do the smallest thing for my gran, like mow her lawn every couple of weeks. He�s great at throwing money at problems, but won�t ever put himself out for anyone. God, he makes me so angry.

Anyway, onto the events. Firstly, after stewing about housing for a couple of weeks I decided to make some decisions and went to view a room in a house about a hundred yards down the room on Sunday. The house is currently owned by a 29 year-old solicitor looking for help with the mortgage, and the long and the short of it is that I�ve decided to move in. My room�s about a squillion times bigger than my current one, and the next door neighbours own two puppies. Squee!

Secondly, during the usual lab meeting this afternoon, we got onto the subject of my contract, and the long and the short of it (again) is that I�m going to be offered a two-year extension. Which, frankly, is frickin� excellent news. Ooh, and I�ll also be having another meeting in a couple of months, where I�ll be discussing my hours and whether I want to try full-time. I think I�m going to try full-time. So that�s all worked out brilliantly, to be honest, and made me reat chuffed.

On to the bad events. Last week Becky rang after The Apprentice (or more accurately, I rang her because I am overflowing with generosity and she is not). Unluckily for her, and due to the rubbish mood I was in last week, she got me rambling on about not really being very happy, totally inarticulately and interspersed with three million erms. It went something like this:

�I dunno, I just feel all restless and like I�m in a rut. It�s like, I�ve always had something to head towards, erm, like at uni it was towards my degree, and then it was getting a job. But now I�ve done all that and it feels like I�m just chugging along, doing the same stuff every day� erm� it feels like I should be heading towards something and I�m not. I mean I love my job so much, and I�m really lucky to have it. I think it�s to do with how my friends are just all over the country, and I don�t get to see them. Erm. And with moving house, I worry because I see James a lot, and I think, �If we split up, what would I actually do with my time?� I mean we�re not going to any time soon, because things are going great, but I do worry a bit. And then I think, �If we did split up, who could I go see and talk about it with?�

Just a small look into the lukewarm mush that constitutes my brain there. I think it�s quite an achievement for me to string sentences together as successfully as I do.

Now then, I�ve written all that down because yesterday something quite hideous happened. I was just sat watching something awful like Scrapheap Challenge with James, when Becky rang. She started with, �You know how we were talking last week�� and I�d seriously forgotten all about my isn�t-life-rubbish moan. And then she started on about how she�d been praying to God about the whole thing, and that she really thought that he wanted her to tell me all about how she found God and stuff. She then proceeded to do so. And then she went on about how God loves me even though I don�t acknowledge him � she started getting quite upset by this point � and the finally said that she was going to go, and that she just wanted me to think about things.

Probably one of the most uncomfortable phone calls I�ve ever had in my life. I was so tense I was shaky. I know she means well, and I appreciate so much that she wants to help me out, but I decided a long time ago that I don�t believe in God. I mean I�ve wavered a little at times, but for many reasons (some probably quite obvious) I just don�t believe. Ugh, and I was dog-tired when this happened, and the whole thing was just a bit hideous. Anyway, I�ve got to formulate some kind of response to all this, without either offending Becky or making her think I�m a crap friend. Going to ring Mel first, and see what she thinks about it all. And of course the thing is, my whole life-is-crap deal is now a bit defunct, seeing as I�ve solved my housing crisis and work�s picked up.

The other bad thing is that I rang my dad tonight, and he wants us to have a serious chat tomorrow night about �long-term plans�. I�m praying that this is about him moving in with Amanda, and nothing to do with impending weddings. Please God, don�t let him be marrying that woman.

last - next