An entry dedicated to my hypochondria
03.03.11, 6:55 pm

Thankyou all for your lovely advice - I have decided to duplicate for the time being, to see if I like Blogspot more, so you can continue to read me here or can read me at Blogspot here. The layout looks a lot better at Blogspot, but each to their own. In the meantime, here's the entry! Waffle over!

I am more than happy to admit that I am somewhat a hypochondriac. It's interesting really: if someone I know is ill and concerned about it then I am reassuring and calming and lovely, but if I have a headache for more than two days a small voice pipes up with, 'Hmm, is this possibly a brain tumour? Should we maybe look up brain tumour symptoms on NetDoctor?'

I made this mistake when I was trying to get over my ectopic heartbeat. I Googled my symptoms and spent a horrible hour reading increasingly alarming horror stories about people and their wonky hearts, and how they had to go to A&E and get zapped with defibrilators. I was traumatized for a good fortnight, expecting any minute to collapse on the spot and have to be rushed off to hospital. To be honest, I'm still a little traumatized now, though I've managed to calm myself over the years. I think people do tend to panic more when it's heart stuff because the heart is such a palpable organ.

So anyway, I'm trying my hardest not to go into a hypochondria-based panic over my latest ailment. I'm currently suffering from messed up sinuses, lots of phlegm, one swollen gland, a slight cough and, most importantly, STRANGE BURNING LUNGS. Now, obviously I am probably suffering from a mild chest infection and the burning lungs are due to inflammation or whatever, but this doesn't stop the small voice going, 'Burning lungs, eh? That doesn't happen every day of the week. Are you sure you can breathe properly? Are you short of breath? ARE YOU? ARE YOU GOING TO COLLAPSE AND MAKE HORRIBLE WHEEZY NOISES? ARE YOU GOING TO SUFFOCATE, HMM??? Maybe you have TB, even though you aren't coughing up blood and had the vaccination years ago. Maybe pneumonia's coming, even though you managed to walk all the way home from work without falling over. Either way, we'd better have a freak out about this and get suitably stressed. Very good, bye now!'

Hopefully the burning lungs will settle down eventually. Hopefully my hypochondria will settle down eventually too. It seems to be better than it was; I think having James around helps, as he is incredibly laid-back about it all and relies on one stock cure for all ailments, which is 'go and have a nice bath'.

Masterchef tonight, which I watch religiously despite not really liking the new format. I have developed an unnatural dislike of Polly and want to punch Tim the Canadian in the face. James has decided that his favourite is Alice the part-time model because his rule for favourites in reality TV programmes is always 'the prettiest one' (previous favourites include Rachel Stevens from Strictly Come Dancing and Liz from The Apprentice).

James has just come home and I greeted him with the following: 'Hello, I think the patch of black mould on your side of the bedroom is making me ill because it apparently causes respiratory problems so we need to have a chat about you cleaning it off this weekend with bleach.' I haven't Googled 'burning lungs' though; I knew the black mould fact from watching Help My House Is Falling Down. I wish I didn't know the black mould fact.

Biscuit time!

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