Something about Christmas and trains
29.12.11, 9:20 am

Writing block seems to have shifted, which is a pleasing thing. Christmas summary time!

I spent Christmas Day with my gran and my sister this year. Originally, I think I probably would have spent it with my dad and Amanda, but it all got a bit complicated. My dad and I initially had a disagreement about what to do on the day (he wanted to have the Christmas meal in an Indian restaurant and I didn't, because it's a crap idea), and then suddenly he just got really angry and it turned into a huge argument. He said a lot of unpleasant things about how he thought I was ungrateful and selfish and lazy, and Amanda called me a cow. It was quite upsetting, really.

We then didn't speak for a week (as he'd hung up on me), and then when he did ring again we had another argument, where I got so frustrated that I was extremely truthful and told him that it felt like he didn't care about me or my sister, that he was never interested in our lives and we always felt very unwelcome at his house. It was a difficult line to tread, as I didn't want to outright insult Amanda or overtly blame it on her, but couldn't really avoid the hulking elephant in the room that was Amanda. Anyway, it was all in vain as my dad said denied there was a problem, said some more hurtful things about how he was just very busy etc., basically admitted that Amanda was still really annoyed, and the whole thing was left weirdly with regard to Christmas. I felt like I couldn't go to my dad's because a) it'd be hideous and b) I was angry at my dad and felt like I'd be saying that I was wrong if I went, and I didn't think I was wrong.

Anyway, after that I got ill, and my dad was quite sweet while I was ill, and then it turned out that my gran was not going to my uncle's for Christmas this year. Finally, it was decided that me and my sister would go to my dad's for the 22nd � 24th, then go down to my gran's and spend 25-26th there, before I went up to Scotland on the 27th. The argument was not mentioned again, which was probably for the best.

Everything was basically okay at my dad's, though Amanda is, by nature, a total fun sponge. The only way to get through the more painful moments was to simply enjoy the privacy of my own thoughts, and whilst listening to her and nodding, think, 'Blah blah blah me me blah blah. You're an idiot. Just a total. Idiot.'

In fact, the only interesting part was when Amanda sat down next to me and started talking about how her daughter is moving back in after having a lot of arguments at her dad's with her step-mother. 'Is Christine a bit of a bitch?' I asked.

'Well, yeah. She's a harsh tongue... she definitely rules the roost. Anyway, they had a huge argument, but I think what did it for Ella was that her dad didn't take her side � he took Christine's. Ella found that unforgivable.'

It was like the Irony Fairy had just sat down at the table with me. A warning klaxon went off very loudly in my head, and I chose my next words very carefully. 'I guess it's difficult for her dad, being stuck in the middle.'

Amanda gave me a very weird look and said nothing. The awkward silence stretched, then I finally said, 'Still, it's nice she's back home.'

As with the insisting on me cooking an enormous, complex meal for everyone, I'm sure she's trying to make a point or teach me a lesson... I just don't know what it is. Which makes the whole thing a bit redundant.

Christmas at Mave the Rave's, however, was lovely. As predicted, she took one look at me and was all, 'Right, I've bought an entire fridge of food just for you, now get cracking. And while you're doing that, I'll make you some lard sandwiches for later.' Seeing her and my sister was great though, and she let us do more of the cooking this year and thus didn't get quite so tired. We spent Boxing Day with my uncle and his wife, and it was actually great, not least because they have the most amazing labradoodle known to man called Meg.

And now I'm sat on the train on the way to Scotland. Travelling on the 27th is the usual total living nightmare, but I do love the kind of Blitz spirit that everyone gets into, helping people squash themselves into packed trains and carrying bags for them. I've treated myself to first class this year, for the Manchester to Lockerbie bit anyway, because it's so hellish. Consequently, I've just shoved a free flapjack down my neck and am now drinking a free cup of tea � it's bloody brilliant.

Happy Hogmanay, chaps!

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