Ground control to Major Pom
29.11.16, 1:51 pm
19 weeks today and things are better than they were. It’s honestly just one long rollercoaster, and I really want to get off but there’s no turning back now! Had an appointment with the cardiologist and the obstetrics consultant last week, and my heart ultrasound is fine. My weird ECG is also nothing to worry about, as it’s probably due to my heart being moved upwards physically because of the baby, which is making the electrical axis a bit wonky. They were both very kind, and were basically, ‘Yeah, this sucks for you. You won’t die and it’ll be OK, but we do feel for you. Take your medication regularly, stop feeling so guilty about it, it’ll help.’ So I am taking my pills twice daily again, and it is making things a bit more stable. We also chatted about labour a bit, which is another quagmire of worry, and I also feel a lot better about that. I can take my pills during the birth, and there’s stuff they can do to ease the effort of labour. To be honest, I also think that by then I’ll just be thinking, ‘This is crappy and I hate it, but after this it’ll be over so let’s just bloody get it done with.’ We’ll see how this plan holds up when it comes to it!
Anyway, the best thing is that I can feel the baby moving now. It started a couple of weeks ago, but it was all very was-that-it-or-just-really-persistent-but-weirdly-regular-indigestion. Can confirm it’s definitely baby. It’s awesome, a daily reassurance that there’s definitely something in there and that they’re still around. Of course, every now and then there’s a morning of, ‘Why haven’t you moved yet?!?’, followed by drinking 12 cups of hot tea – the baby seems FASCINATED by hot liquids and just goes NUTS every time – to try and coax a wiggle, but it’s always come good in the end so far. I guess even babies oversleep sometimes. The 20 week scan is next Tuesday and I’m actually not that anxious at all, because I know they’re definitely fidgeting around in there. There’s obviously the possibility that there’s some abnormality that we’re not aware of, but that definitely doesn’t bring on the panic that the 12 week scan does. And this scan doesn’t need a full bladder, thank Christ.
Started buying Christmas presents today… God, it’s so stressful. Dumfries this year for the day itself, the only downside of which is all the endless relatives trooping round. Hope they don’t all comment on my bump. At the moment I just look a bit fat, although in a weirdly rounded, just in one place way, but who knows how massive it’ll be in 4 weeks’ time. First dry Christmas for a while. I’m going to allow myself one glass of wine on Christmas day… hope Pommy doesn’t mind. We’ve called the baby Pommy, by the way. We used to change its name each week, based on the size of fruit it was according to the pregnancy app. So it’s been Kiwi, Pear, Peach and a load of other things. Last week it was Pomegranate, which got shortened to Pommy and now it’s kind’ve stuck, even though it’s technically Mango now. Every night when James gets home from work he starts with, ‘So how’s Pommy been today?’ and every now and then he texts me in the morning asking, ‘Has Pommy woken up yet?’ It’s the sweetest thing. God, I wish pregnancy didn’t take so long.
This is honestly one of the hardest things I’ve done. If I can battle this idiotic heart of mine for 40 weeks and win, then I’ll feel nothing short of invincible.
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