Hark The Herald Pommy Kick
20.12.16, 1:32 pm
22 weeks pregnant today and it’s nearly Christmas. Hooray! I think once we’re the other side of the holidays everything’s going to suddenly feel a hell of a lot closer.
Just recovering from the worst bit of the pregnancy so far. I feel like I’m always typing that but this was definitely the worst bit so far… or at least will be until the next worser bit. Basically I contracted gastritis again but a billion times worse than the first time. I couldn’t each much but kept trying to eat something so as the bambino was OK, and my heart just went INSANE. Constant palpitations all through the day and night, so relentless and grim that I didn’t sleep for 6 days and had to go to A & E one afternoon because my heart rhythm went so wonky that the midwife told me to go and get it checked out. Everything was OK in the end – ECG looked alright and my blood sugar levels were a little low (so no horrible gestational diabetes) – but it was still 3 hours waiting around and inevitably feeling like a fraud when you get the all clear.
As usual I spent a lot of my time battling the predictable thought depression spirals, telling myself that it’d get better and wasn’t just ‘how pregnancy was’. And of course it did eventually improve, but it was really, really awful at the time. One evening I was so miserable and scared that I just sat on my bed holding the 20-week scan picture of Pommy and cried, because I wanted her so much and yet it all felt too hard to get through. But yes, gastritis has finally gone, though my heart is still regularly a dick and I’ve gone back to my normal indigestion/bloating status. I guess the silver lining is that I’m better with the palpitations because I know that even when they get to horrific, terrifying, feels-like-your-heart-is-a-backfiring-car status that you still won’t die, and so the run-of-the-mill ones are a bit more bearable. I’m pretty fed up though, and still mostly hate being pregnant.
Sorry, I’m just bang in the middle of a tired and hormonal patch – I think Pommy must be going through another growth spurt. Pommy’s a girl, by the way! We had the abnormalities scan a couple of weeks ago and everything looked fine – all arms and legs present, heart clearly pumping away, two kidneys and a brain with all the ventricles in the right place. We couldn’t resist finding out the sex, so decided to go for it. I was so convinced she was a boy, so shows you how much I know. Her kicks are getting really strong now, which means that James can feel them too, and that’s pretty awesome.
I’ve hit a little bit of ‘Shit, do I want this?’ recently, but I honestly think it’s purely due to the aforementioned tiredness and hormones patch. I think you spend so much time worrying about the upcoming scans and that something will go wrong, and then you pass into the relatively safer, more relaxed half and there’s suddenly time to wonder if you’ve done the right thing. I’m sure that we have; I think I just need to finish work and go be on Christmas for a bit.
Off to Scotland on Friday morning for the holidays. Only 2 more crappy days of work, yay! I also have to make florentines tonight to bring to Scotland as a little gift, which is a bit of a ball ache. I made some for grandma last Friday and was EXHAUSTED by the end of it. They looked weirdly square but seemed to taste OK, so fingers crossed for a repeat performance. All wrapping and cards have been done, just packing and stuff to go. Looking forward to everyone going on and on about my bump! It’s not massive but definitely, definitely there now. On the plus side, my old, baggy Christmas jumper now miraculously fits, and the bump does make an excellent shelf for resting your cup of tea on.
Happy Christmas, all!
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