Vaguely bad news
09.02.06, 7:57 pm

Wunderbar news: Nickel Creek are touring again, and are playing in Sheffield on the 23rd February. I have the hugest, fattest love ever for this band� the best way I can think to describe my excitement is to do this: !!!!!!!!!! I�m going to go see them with my dad as he�s a big fan too, which means he�ll pay for my ticket. Thank god. Money is just� bad at the moment. But yes, the Nickel Creek thing has me incredibly excited.

Also, I�m going to go see Hope Of The States play again, which is another of my big fat love bands. That�s on 29th March I think, so just after my 21st, and I�ll be going up to Manchester with Dave for the night to see them at Academy 1. I last saw them with Dave sometime in second year. Dave was round the other day actually, and started the conversation with, �So, I heard you did the Run DMC on Hannah at the weekend��. Yes, yes I did indeed. The summer I was working at the rat-infested warehouse Dave would drive up some weekends to see me for the day, and we�d drive into Manchester and fanny around for the day. Dave said that his best memory of that time was walking through Piccadilly Gardens and it being all bathed in sunshine. I said that my best memory was of driving down Dean�s Gate with all the windows down, and everyone giving us weird looks because we were dancing in the car to Blazin Squad � Flip Reverse. I think this shows that Dave is actually a big softie at heart, and that I�m actually a little ridiculous. Or that I like stupid dancing. One of the two anyway.

I rang my gran tonight� in fact I rang her about half an hour ago, and am writing this bit right now, as opposed to the stuff before this which was written a good few hours ago. Anyway, she�s not good. Apparently she�s been to the hospital to get some blood tests done, and some x-rays taken of her spine. I doubt she�d have even told me about it unless I�d asked her straight out if she�d got a blood test done. She can�t feel her legs at all some of the time, and when she can feel them she�s in a lot of pain. She also gets this to a lesser extent in her hands. She�s had it all for a while now, and it seems to be getting steadily worse. I don�t know when she�s getting the results, but they already want to take a larger x-ray of her whole spine. Obviously it�s something to do with the nerves in her spinal cord. You don�t want to say the word �degeneration� but it keeps on springing to mind. Sometimes studying Neuroscience has its bad points; I think being ignorant about nerves and the spinal cord would stop me from worrying so much. The trouble is that my gran�s so fiercely dependent; she won�t accept help unless you continually force it. I�m so worried that she�s going to suddenly fall and hurt herself, or lose the feeling in her legs and wind up in a car accident. I also wish that we still lived in Nottingham, because at least then I could keep checking she�s okay. Whenever I ring she always glosses over any bad points. I keep beating myself up for not ringing her as often as I could.

You know, maybe it�s just old age or something. Maybe it�s nothing serious at all. Or maybe it is serious and she�ll end up in a wheelchair and have to go into a home. I have such a bad feeling about all of this.

My lab was cancelled today, along with my lecture in the morning, so all I�ve done is go to the gym and then read a journal on �Differentiation and Mutation in Neoplasms�. Neoplasms are cancer cells, in case anyone�s wondering. Sorry, writing that about my gran has pretty much put a damper on this entry. I�m seeing Lisa tomorrow as she�s back from Toulouse for a week, so that should be very pleasant, but right now I feel a little crappy. Going to leave it here, I think.

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