Dem never did go to Basement Jaxx school
01.02.06, 5:35 pm

Get in. Get fucking well in! I have written my name and registration number for the last time, knackered out my right hand with writing for the last time and tied my answer booklets together with string for the last time. Exams are over, y�all. This hopefully means an end to my incessant whining about the boringness of my life, as I have five free days now until I start back at lectures on Monday.

All this free time means I get to do completely irrelevant things like look up the lyrics to Jump And Shout by Basement Jaxx, because after listening to that song about fifty times I still have no idea what the guy is going on about. I always just wait for the chorus to come round so I can join in enthusiastically with the �Gotta jump 'n' shout� bits. I�m also going to tidy my room too, because after living here almost constantly for three weeks it�s completely gross. Just about every item of clothing that I own is in a big pile at the bottom of my bed, along with three empty Diet Coke bottles and an atlas of human anatomy. Go me.

So, guess I should say how the exam went. We were in Goodwin, which is the sports hall at the gym, and as we took our seats Ella sat down behind me and I heard her mutter, �Oh great, I knew that fucking question�d come up and I haven�t learnt any of it� so I forced myself not to read the questions until the guy told us to start. For some reason it made it all easier. There was one on tyrosine kinases, which are like the� I dunno, the P3 maths of the biomedical science world. They suck the ultimate ass, and I purposely didn�t revise them because I hate them and wish they�d CRAWL AWAY AND DIE, so I had to do the other question, which also contained something that I hadn�t learned properly so I just ended up making some stuff up. In fact all three questions were gits, and I ran out of time, and I have a slight sinking feeling of that I maybe could have done better, and the continuous writing really made my hand seize up, but it wasn�t bad by any stretch. Who cares anyway, the bastard�s over and I�m done. Done and done.

Some robbing bastard has stolen my cheese. The only stuff that�s left is some Tesco own-brand mild cheddar crap that blatantly wasn�t worth milking the sodding cow for in the first place. Someone also keeps using my washing powder and my toothpaste. I�m the poor one in this house; people shouldn�t be allowed to steal from me.

Speaking of the house, Hannah has left and is in Edinburgh for a few days and Becky has returned. Thank god. We appear to have done something else wrong, as Hannah�s pissed off at the both of us for some reason or other. I�m guessing it�s because I didn�t see her the whole two days we were in the house on our tods, whereas as soon as Becky got back we ended up going downstairs and watching Neighbours with a cup of tea. It�s only because Hannah hasn�t been in the house hardly at all over the last two days though � she�s been out with Guy, not that she let me know or anything. Check this, it's like I need to defend myself, even though this is my journal and therefore completely biased anyway. Anyway, back to Hannah. She doesn�t eat either, or leave her room. The only time I physically saw her was when I was sat with Becky and she came to say a grudging goodbye. It�s always everybody else�s fault with her. I bet she stole my cheese.

I�ve just finished reading Ugly by Constance Briscoe, which is possibly one of the most depressing books I�ve ever read in my life. Really good but really sad. I�ve since lent it to Becky, who�s already told me that it�s making her really sad. I told her that the ending was all uplifting though, and nearly made me cry, to which she said, �Really? Wow, it must be really uplifting then.� I do have the emotion gene, I do, it�s just good at hiding sometimes. Which reminds me.

Now the exams are done I�m going to have to talk about Roy and hypno. Balls. You know what? I�ll talk about it another time because this entry isn�t deadly serious in any way and I don�t want to talk about serious things, because today is a joyous day and should remain as such. Roy can wait.

Me and Becky are planning on baking a cake at some point this afternoon � I have no idea why, but Becky reckons that she�s got baking in her genes because her great-grandmother was a cake-shop owner or something, and that consequently it�s going to be the best cake ever. I don't know about that, but I am going to see if I can sneak some Nutella into it somewhere, because Nutella blesses everything that it touches. After that I�m going out with Paddy and a few of his friends for a drink somewhere, and then it�ll be back home again to watch Desperate Housewives and ram myself full of cake. Life appears to be really quite pleasant once more.

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