Blue bed girl
09.01.06, 11:43 pm

My bed is now blue. It used to be kind�ve maroon coloured, but new stuff has been bought, which I�ve just put on, and it�s now blue. Seems to go with the room a little better. Go me for having a blue bed.

I�ve just got back to Sheffield� well maybe an hour ago. My dad was kind�ve grumpy when he got back from work, because he has his right ear pierced (since the age of about 14, so before the sexuality sides got assigned) and some kid he was interviewing firstly told him that he liked his earring, and then asked, "Are you out and proud?" Packing took a minimal amount of time but I kept forgetting things, which made me vaguely harassed:

Me: Oh, I know what I�ve forgotten... my shampoo.
My dad: That one that�s in the shower? Legally Blonde or something. Yeah, I�ve been using that.
Me: You�ve been using my shampoo?
My dad: Yes.
Me: You�ve been using my blonde shampoo to wash your *resists the "small amount of" comment* brown hair? For god�s sake, that�s really expensive stuff. And it�s Sheer Blonde, fool; Legally Blonde�s a film.

By the way, Word, it�s really pissing irritating the way you always replace things I put inside asterisks with asterisk-less bold text. Here�s a bit of bold text for you: NOB JOCKEY.

The drive home along Snake Pass filled me with about as much joy as a mouldy potato would. And then the CD player decided to random onto Garbage � Bleed Like Me, which is a song partly about self-harm and always makes me flinch to listen to it, and I wanted to just melt through the floor. It made me hate myself for a full 4 minutes. I don�t know if my dad knows about my self-harm episode; he�ll never ask and I�ll never tell him. I hate it... oh you know what, FUCK OFF memory lane. I don�t want to think about all that right now, and whilst we�re on the subject, you can fuck all the memories of my mum that you keep shoving my way as well. I know the 13th is nearly here, but I�d prefer to limit the potential breakdowns to just the one day, thanks. And don�t even think about sending me memories of Bernie, because that�s after my mum's and we deal with it one at a time when it comes to this kind of thing.

Came into my room tonight and found a book entitled �The Reasons Sex Before Marriage Is A Bad Idea� sat on my bedside table. This either meant that a) Becky�s friend, Jenny, spent the night in my room or b) Becky was trying to tell me something. I stuck my head round her door and thankfully a) was the correct option, and she wasn�t on some kind of crazy campaign.

Lovely to see the housekids, be there only two of them currently. Em�s just been in my room chatting to me for the past hour or so, which has delayed the writing of this somewhat. She liked my blue bed. I haven�t told them about the anniversaries, and I know that I should but I�m so very shit at this kind of thing, and it�s not exactly the best conversation starter in the world. The phrase �emotionally stunted� is coming to mind.

Tomorrow I�m going to have a shower and then head off to the library. I�m inspired to do this because I know Paddy�s going to be there too, and we�ll get to go to lunch together. Paddy is a good thing... everyone should have a Paddy equivalent in their lives.

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