Christmas Fuzz magic
17.12.05, 12:28 am

Whilst I was sitting here deciding how to open this entry, I stretched my chewing gum across my tongue in preparation to blow a bubble and ended up swallowing it. I now feel vaguely uneasy, seeing as people have been telling me my entire life to NOT SWALLOW CHEWING GUM. I�m really gross when it comes to chewing gum; I stick it everywhere. There�s a bit stuck to the side of my monitor, and I�ve clumped a few pieces together on the sticking out bit on the end of my radiator. And then one day the handyman came round, aka Fat Stumpy Dwarfman, to fix the heating, and I had to admit that it wasn�t there to fix a hole in the radiator, it was there because I am big lazy fool who doesn�t even own a bin.

Yeah, you see I had a bin over summer but then Becky came back in September and stole it. Currently I have a big bin bag sat behind my door, but it�s starting to smell a bit weird now so I may have to take it downstairs tomorrow. To be honest, most of my crap just ends up getting thrown out of my skylight. My god, these two paragraphs haven�t painted a very good picture of myself at all. Let�s move on! Switftly!

The carol concert that we did last night in Michelle�s room has been videoed, which I�m less than excited about, particularly as I was wearing my Lesbian Hat throughout. And then for some reason Hannah and me ended up singing A Whole New World, with Becky accompanying us. Before you ask, yes, of course I was Aladdin. Think I might have to be out/busy/asleep when they all sit down to watch it back.

Christmas Fuzz was much fun indeed, especially as I decided to forget about the stupid house-tension-bordering-on-big-fat-argument thing that had been going on just before we left for Fuzz. I�d also decided to not drink, as that would have made me even more likely to have an argument, but as we walked down I found my happy vibe and ended up getting quite hammered. Woke up at eleven and left it until this afternoon to do the traditional mortifying task of reading through my Sent Items folder on my phone. Found this gem amongst others � Hallam refers to Hallam University, the other university in Sheffield that we have a huge rivalry with. I don�t know why I keep a record of the awful texts that I write:

�Very impressed with my signal. Hallam scum keep stalking us, may have to get off with Dave or Mel, whoever�s keenest. Woo for the lapdance baby! X�

Which reminds me, some sleazy guy was harassing Mel, and I asked Hannah if I should go pretend to be her lesbian lover. She dared me to, so I went up to them both, wrapped my arm around Mel, shouted, �Don�t stray too far, lover!� in her ear, then looked at the bloke and said, �She�s with me� before giving him a wink (Why did I wink? Why??) and dragging her off to the bar. There was also another guy who tried to hit on Mel (she always gives off this unconscious weird �I�m single and interested!� vibe whenever she goes out)� for some reason he asked her, �What�s your opinion of women in the armed forces�, only I thought he�d said, �What�s your opinion of women in corsets?� It�s not my fault: JD and Coke was only �1.50 and I�m weak weak weak.

They played Fairytale of New York towards the end of the night, and the whole of Fuzz ended up singing along to it. It was very cute and very festive and made me feel all fuzzy and sentimental. Got home about threeish, and Em was still up and kind�ve drunk � she hadn�t come out with us as she�d stayed in drinking with the Links kids.

Anyway, she was getting her results for her third year exams that she�s recently taken the next day, and was telling me that she was really scared. She wanted a hug, so I gave her one, and next thing I knew she had burst into tears and was crying on me. I said various comforting things, and then because our house is just a big English version of the Waltons our hug turned into a huge drunken group hug between the three of us in the kitchen and two more of us who had wandered in from the front room to see what all the fuss was about. I know I bitch sometimes about the housekids, and there are downsides to having such a large house number, but there are upsides to it too. When someone�s got a problem or is upset, the amount of support you get is amazing, and when everyone�s happy with each other we get on amazingly well and have a hell of a lot of fun. I wouldn�t swap them all for anything.

I didn�t get to bed until half fourish, as I was sat up with Em trying to calm her down. She passed with flying colours, so all is good, and they�re all now out at another Union night. I, however, am not, as I have no money and am just too exhausted. I�ve spent the whole of today firstly sat in Mel�s room watching her pack, and then sat in Em�s room watching her pack. Em insisted on playing the same damn Christmas CD over and over again. The only Christmas song that I can handle being played multiple times is Stop The Cavalry. Becky left for home this afternoon, so I�m all lonesome up here on the attic floor, but it does mean that I can play my newly downloaded song over and over and over again without fear of pissing her off.

I was going to wait up for them all, seeing as most of them are leaving for home tomorrow, but I�m just too knacked. By Sunday night it�ll just be Michelle and me left � Michelle�s here until Christmas Eve, bless her, working at John Lewis. We�re planning on getting a huge bucket of KFC and watching her shiny new season 4 of 24 on Monday night... god even the thought of KFC gets me worryingly excited. Okay, time to go embrace my bed and be at one with slumber.

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