Daddy's taking us to the zoo tomorrow
15.08.06, 10:04 am
Everything hurts, I have big brain fog and I feel totally exhausted, but it�s okay because the zoo was frickin� FANTASTIC and totally worth the backlash. Contributing to my good mood is the fact that I�ve finally got the Internet to work on my computer, and so am writing this in my room. Not that Lisa�s laptop is crap or anything� my computer�s just better. We�ve had so much stress with our Internet it�s unreal, and of course BT�s technical services are based in India, and so have been on the phone to India for roughly four days. But anyway, we�re now online chez Sheffield, and normal entries can once again resume. Except I�ve just remembered the downside of being on my computer again, namely that it continually disconnects me from the t�Internet. Anyone who has ever spoken to me on MSN is well aware of this problem and it�s horrifically irritating, as I have to restart the damn machine every time.
But anyway, onto the zoo expedition and with pictures, as I figure everyone deserves a break from the ME madness. Wonderful Ray and Anne picked me up from the flat at about 6pm, with Mel in tow obviously, and we trundled down to Coventry and had a cup of tea with Mel�s sister before Rich came to pick me and Mel up. I ended up having to tell Kate (the sister) about the ME after some awkward questions, and she responded with, �Oh, right� which is definitely the funniest response I�ve had so far. Kate does rock a lot, and I guess having MS beats most other conditions hands-down.
Flamingos - possibly the best bird in the entire world. They had a big scrap just after that was taken; it was bloody fantastic.
Worrying that Rich is very similar to a gorilla. Although me and Mel had a long conversation about how he actually looked more like a giant mole that day.Anyway, Rich came and got us and took us back to the wonder that is Nuneaton, and we went for a drink with some of his friends. They were nice enough, but I was more amused by their comedy accents. Finally (I was reat knacked by now) we trundled back to Rich�s dad�s house and had a good nosy around the place, and then met Rich�s dad and his partner Helen. They were also both nice enough, but the whole time I was talking to Helen I couldn�t stop thinking, �You stole your best friend�s husband and then she drank herself to death. How are you not consumed with guilt?� Going to sleep was the best feeling in the world, especially as Rich let me and Mel sleep in his bed and spent the night in his sister�s bed.
Marmots, which I didn't even know existed until Saturday.
BABY GOAT! Nothing else need be said.Next morning we set off to the zoo after picking up Mitch and Rich showing us around the farm that he works on and proudly displaying his half-made shed � I made the appropriate oohing noises � and got there around half eleven. Twycross Zoo is the most amazing place in England, and possibly the world. As I used to live in Nottingham I�ve been there several times when I was wee, but it�s a million times better as an adult. It�s apparently the leading primate zoo in the world, and as Mel�s going off to Africa in a month�s time to look after babba monkeys for a bit she was suitably excited about them. And due to the following piece of conversation the night before in Rich�s kitchen�
Rich: I do hope you�re both aware that it�s the leading primate zoo.
Mel: Aww, I�ll just want to touch the monkeys... not in that way.
Me: *pause* There was no need for that disclaimer; no one was even thinking that. But we all are now.
� me and Rich made about 30,000 inappropriate innuendos about monkeys, because we�re actually 12 rather than 21. But anyway, lots of animals (and baby animals, which was just too cute and squishy for words).
Rich, Mitch and Mel.Just as we were nearing the end and preparing to go get some lunch I went into a total crash and had to be escorted back to the car, where I dozed on the way to KFC. We parked in the KFC carpark, I climbed out, promptly stumbled and hung onto the two cars either side of me and reported, �I can�t actually walk, I�m going to have to stay in the car. Shit. I�m so sorry, you�ll bring my food to me or something.� The whole thing was completely retarded and we ended up doing the drive-through thing � Rich did offer to carry me in but he has a bad back and I didn�t trust him to not drop me.
Obligatory camel photo - after I took that he started rolling around on the grass, it was very cute. If not a little foolish, given the humps.
And that's me reflected in the glass of one of the enclosures.Food made me feel better though thankfully, and as long as I hung onto someone I could walk reasonably well. We pissed around all afternoon and then Rich took us back to Kate�s house, where me and Mel watched K9-11 (possibly the worst film in the entire world, bar Pearl Harbor and Titanic) whilst her dad loaded up the car with Kate�s stuff. Finally we got back on the road to Sheffield with the Mel clan. Complete Geordie Central, of course. Still don�t understand why they insist on saying new-CASTLE rather than NEW-castle. Also think I need to stop saying, �Ah why aye, man!� every time Mel sounds especially Geordie. Anyway, I got back home about half nine and immediately had a bath. We�re currently playing host to a family of woodlice � two parents and a babba. Can woodlice swim? I think we�ll soon be finding out. Although, ridiculously, I feel a little guilty about killing the baby one, as all its known in its short life is the edges of our blue bath mat. And there�s no way I�m rescuing them and dumping them outside; woodlice just have too many legs. I wish they�d do as their name implies and go live in the damn wood already.
Finally, that's me when I finally got home, leaning against the doorway of our kitchen. At some point I'll finally get round to taking some photos of the new flat.I have other important news but it�ll have to wait until the next entry, as this one is turning into the mother of all entries. To be honest, I�m also too tired to carry on typing. My bed�s calling.
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